Credit: Adam Rose/©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Glee has been dealing with a lot in Season 5 so far. We’ve got two main locations battling for our attention, former favorites gone from the show, and major breaks in the airing schedule for multiple reasons. Since it seems to be having some growing pains, we thought we’d just check in with our imaginary version of what Brittany’s (Heather Morris) life might look like these days.

As we all know, Britt was pretty much failing at McKinley High… okay, actually failing, since she had to repeat her senior year. Then, in a miraculous plot twist only found on Glee, it turned out that Brittany is a genius and she got insane test scores and she was going to MIT. Because that happens. But all reality checks aside, let’s just go with that, and think about what she’s doing over at college. Starting now…

1. She’s Hosting a Talk Show
MIT didn’t even have a television channel or radio station until Brittany came along. (Okay, we have no idea if that’s true, but who cares.) Once Britt introduced Fondue for Two to the Massachusetts school’s student population, they couldn’t get enough. Now, it’s become the must watch show on campus, with professors, students, and lunch ladies hanging out on her couch for chat sessions.

Unfortunately, the increase in her filming schedule has made Brittany eat a lot more cheese than she ever wanted, and she’s become lactose intolerant. As a result, she’s considering renaming the show Kale Shakes for Two, a rumor that has reached her juice-hating potential guests, causing mass appearance cancellations. Kale < Cheese. It’s science.

2. Onward and Upward
Britt was skating along for a little while, being a unicorn or whatever, and then she suddenly took that big jump into the best engineering school in the world. So, let’s just assume that the miracles kept on coming and Brittany is now the sexiest, smartest, blondest professor at MIT.

From student to professor in just a few short months? This is Britt. Anything is possible. Students love her, both the boys and the girls, but she has no idea because she’s too busy solving really difficult mathematical equations and giving lectures all over the world. Which is, of course, why she hasn’t been able to make it back to Lima, or up to New York City.

3. She is Working to Become an Actual Unicorn
Now with a partial engineering degree under her belt, Brittany is fast-acquiring the skills to morph herself into an actual unicorn. With her unique way of thinking about life, her open mind, and a little bit of number manipulation, we have no doubt that the next time we see Brittany, she may just be a mythical creature. But hey, if you see her first, don’t tell Brittany that unicorns aren’t real, OK? Cool.

4. Mission Possible
Getting word of Santana (Naya Rivera) possibly moving on with Dani (Demi Lovato), Britt has decided to take a stealthy leave of absence from MIT studies on weekends, getting intel on her ex-lady’s new love interest. She camps outside her walk-up, hangs around the diner where they work, and aims to find out all the dirt on who the girl giving Santana sweet lady kisses.

Let’s face it: Britt looks really great in black and there’s no way she’s just forgotten about her first love so quickly. And no, before you ask, there is nothing creepy about what she’s doing. It’s all for Santana; Britt to make sure she’s happy. Oh, except if you go into the cave she’s created underneath her dorm — the one collaged with photos and pins with thread connecting Dani’s past to present and creating an entire life story about the mysterious new arrival. Because that, yeah, that’s creepy as heck.

What do you think Brittany is doing now that she’s not in our Glee lives every week?


Julia Wayne is an Editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!