When it came to funny lines and witty quips, the newest episode of Glee did not disappoint. Here are our picks for the top 10 quotes from Season 5, Episode 12: "100."

10. Brittany [to Santana, about math monkeys]: "Wait, do those actually exist?"

It sounds like Brittany just found a friend for Lord Tubbington. 

9. Jake [about choosing between Rachel and Mercedes]: "I’m torn. One is black and one is Jewish."

We think Jake may have missed the point of this exercise.

8. April Rhodes [to Unique]: "But don’t worry, this Spumante is virgin, probably like you will be for a long time."

April doles out the tough love. 

7. Santana [about Schue]: "You all cheer now, but just wait till he starts rapping."

Good point, Santana.

6. Brittany [to Santana]: "I just wish that I could have my old life back, where I wasn’t a mathematical genius, and all I wanted to do was to scissor you and to talk to my cat."

Brittany has life all figured out. 

5. April [to Biff]: "What did you think, Mr. Preppy McDimpleButt?"

We're going to start referring to Chace Crawford by this name from now.

4. Santana: "This is crazy because I could really give two poops about this place."

That's about as sentimental as Santana gets.

3. April: "It’ll help dull the excruciating pain of your wedding night sodomy and the inevitable divorce that you’re careening towards a couple months later."

April is always the optimist.

2. Tina [about April]: "She once taught me how to shoplift meat in my vagina."

See, finally kids are learning some practical information in school.

1. Santana [about Rachel]: "Someone in that apartment shaves their face and leaves their stubble in the sink, and we all know it ain’t Kurt."

Beauty comes at a price, Santana.