10. Santana [to Rachel, about Funny Girl]: "You have been dreaming about this role since you were in gay utero."
It's never too early to start breaking into showbiz.
9. Sue: "If it isn’t April Rhodes, America’s favorite alcoholic dwarf whore."
For some reason, Sue can't just say "hello" like normal people do.
8. Rachel: "I’m never getting spray-tanned again at a Vietnamese donut shop."
We've never had a bad experience doing it.
7. Mercedes [about Puck and Quinn]: "I have no idea what’s going on there, nor do I know where her boyfriend ran off to, but it looks like we can be expecting another accidental pregnancy sometime soon."
This could be more good news for Shelby.
6. Brittany: "I’m just the world’s foremost expert in the field of Santana Lopez."
That is not an easy field to master.
5. Holly [to April]: "Do you want to go get drunk, rob a bank, and sail around the world on one of those gay-boy cruise ships?"
It's always important to have a plan in life.
4. Tina [to Klaine]: "If I wanted to watch men in Capri pants slobbering all over each other, I’d watch Monday Night Football."
Kurt and Blaine are being penalized for holding.
3. Brittany [about lilies]: "They’re the lesbian of flowers."
If you say so, Brittany.
2. Santana [to Rachel]: "If I don’t express my venom at least once a day, I get constipated."
At least there's a medical explanation.
1. Puck: "Once you’ve seen a baby come out of a girl’s magic garden, everything else is easily acceptable."
That's our Puck, always the romantic.