Welcome to NYC NY-Glee! In our recap for Glee Season 5, Episode 14: “New New York,” everyone is in the Big Apple to make their dreams come true... or, if nothing else, at least to stay bedbug-free. So hop in your town car, throw on your booty-contouring underwear, and channel your inner glitter-rock vampire.

No Butts About It

The episode begins with McKinley’s best and brightest grads — no offense, Tina — heading to NYC. And indeed, it seems as though all eight million NYC residents are currently living in Kurt and Rachel’s apartment. This is creating tension for Kurt and Blaine, although Blaine should know that we would let him make lemon blueberry pancakes for us any day of the week.

This is a big week for Sam. He finally — finally! — cuts his ridiculous bro-nytail, leading to him landing an ever-coveted Bubble underwear ad. Come to think of it, between his ad and Santana’s yeast cream testimonial, we’re not sure which of them should be more embarrassed. So Sam finally moves out and takes up residence in a “Hot People Only” apartment building.

Together But Not Together

Artie is pretty much killin’ it in NYC — until his laptop is swiped off his back by a guy on crutches. [Ed. note: Our laptop was stolen once in NYC, too, and it’s not fun. So we’re here if you need a hug, Artie.] Luckily, Rachel decides to ditch her town car and instead become Artie’s own personal bodyguard. They’re basically like a gender-reversed Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston.

Blaine and Kurt face some serious strife this week, with Blaine even going so far as to ask Starchild if he’s trying to swoop in on his man. Finally, Klaine decides to stay together as a couple but live apart, which seems like the best option, especially since that means Blam will live together. And then, who should pop in but... Mercedes! Try to control the hormones, Sam.

Our Favorite Scene of the Night

And so here it is: Day One of the all-NYC experiment. What did you think? Frankly, we loved this episode from start to finish, and it might very well rank among our faves of Season 5. It is definitely getting back to what we loved about the early seasons, with the gang facing highs and lows but always helping each other out. And the music selection was especially on point tonight. Who can complain about getting an upbeat Klaine song and an upbeat Blam song?

For our “Favorite Scene” Award, we’re going with what may be a surprise choice: Blaine and Starchild’s impromptu jam sesh at Starchild’s pad. We’re not sure why this scene clicked with us so much, but the two guys are surprisingly awesome together, and we’re hopeful that Starchild we’ll start to hang out even more with the whole group. Plus, Blaine’s hilarious insults for him were pretty spot-on.

Our runner-up scene is a tie between the two male duets — Klaine’s and Blam’s — because they both represent the kind of exuberant energy we’ve been missing from the show. And for third place, we’re choosing that flirtatious scene between Sam and Mercedes. Samcedes is definitely happening, people! Hell to the yes.

Okay, so we have a few minor quibbles with the episode. Like, we are not liking the fact that it was Santana nowhere to be found. But otherwise, this is a very promising start to Glee’s brave new world. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re about to get driven around town by our driver. (And by “driver,” we of course mean “bus driver.”)

What did you think of the episode? Let us know in the comments!