When it came to funny lines and witty quips, the newest episode of Glee did not disappoint. Here are our picks for the top 10 quotes from Season 5, Episode 14: "New New York."

10. Sam: "I don’t know why they call it Times Square — I don’t see any clocks."

Sam should probably notify the NYC mayor immediately and have the name changed. 

9. Kurt [about Artie's mugging]: "It’s like an episode of SVU over here."

Cue the Law & Order "dun dun" sound effect.

8. Sam: "Some people just don’t know how to screw things."

We're not surprised that a former stripper would consider this his area of expertise.

7. Rachel [to Artie]: "I know that you’re a little shaken up about what happened, but trust me — I took krav maga as a child at the J.C.C., and I can protect you."

Wax on, wax off.

6. Sam [about NYC]: "It’s crowded, it’s loud, it smells like garbage, and everybody here is basically paid to be rude to you."

Being rude for a living actually sounds like a good gig. 

5. Sam: "I’ll miss rocking the bronytail."

Well, we can't say we'll miss seeing you rock it.

4. Blaine [about the tape rectangles]: "This in no way resembles the shape of a person."

Sam's like, "What am I  a doctor?"

3. Sam: "Thanks to Bubble, men can now have that sexy, round onion booty that they’ve always dreamed of."

It's about time.

2. Mercedes [to Sam]: "I will bite your wax lips off."

You leave those beautiful lips of his alone! 

1. Sam [to Artie]: "You’re like a real-life Professor X."

You wouldn't like Artie when he's angry. (We know — that's the Hulk. But Professor X doesn't have a catchphrase.)