10. Sam: "I don’t know why they call it Times Square — I don’t see any clocks."
Sam should probably notify the NYC mayor immediately and have the name changed.
9. Kurt [about Artie's mugging]: "It’s like an episode of SVU over here."
Cue the Law & Order "dun dun" sound effect.
8. Sam: "Some people just don’t know how to screw things."
We're not surprised that a former stripper would consider this his area of expertise.
7. Rachel [to Artie]: "I know that you’re a little shaken up about what happened, but trust me — I took krav maga as a child at the J.C.C., and I can protect you."
Wax on, wax off.
6. Sam [about NYC]: "It’s crowded, it’s loud, it smells like garbage, and everybody here is basically paid to be rude to you."
Being rude for a living actually sounds like a good gig.
5. Sam: "I’ll miss rocking the bronytail."
Well, we can't say we'll miss seeing you rock it.
4. Blaine [about the tape rectangles]: "This in no way resembles the shape of a person."
Sam's like, "What am I — a doctor?"
3. Sam: "Thanks to Bubble, men can now have that sexy, round onion booty that they’ve always dreamed of."
It's about time.
2. Mercedes [to Sam]: "I will bite your wax lips off."
You leave those beautiful lips of his alone!
1. Sam [to Artie]: "You’re like a real-life Professor X."
You wouldn't like Artie when he's angry. (We know — that's the Hulk. But Professor X doesn't have a catchphrase.)