Tonight’s Glee involves all kinds of craziness: Sam (Chord Overstreet) is poor, April (Kristin Chenoweth) is back, and Brittany (Heather Morris) is apparently the only American who’s turned on a fondue pot in the last 30 years. It’s good to know Mercedes (Amber Riley) finds fondue to be completely disgusting, just like we do. We’ll take Cheez Wiz any day, thank you.
The episode, entitled “Rumours,” also marks the first time that the show has culled its entire song list from a single album. The classic album of choice is — as you’ve probably already guessed — basketball great Shaquille O’Neal’s 1993 rap album, Shaq Diesel. Kidding! Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours is the true inspiration behind the episode. (But take a moment to consider that Shaq Diesel is certified platinum, meaning one million spent actual money to hear Shaq rap. And we’re guessing one million people later sold it at one million garage sales.)
Sue (Jane Lynch) is as diabolical as ever (and dressed as David Bowie — don’t ask), spreading mostly made-up rumors about the glee club via the school’s newly rebooted newspaper. Then again, we’re surprised her plan works, considering people don’t really read newspapers anymore. What’s Sue going to do next week — steal everyone’s laser-disc movie collection?
Among the rumors Sue spreads? That Santana (Naya Rivera) is gay, which Brittany unwittingly announces on her hilarious web series, “Fondue for Two.” This doesn’t go over well with Santana — or with Artie (Kevin McHale), who gets suspicious and then calls Brit “stupid,” leading them to break up. Of course, Brittany taking offense when someone calls her stupid is like a farmer taking offense when someone says broccoli tastes gross. (Translation: You can’t run from the truth.)
Sue’s newspaper also informs the school that Sam and Quinn (Dianna Agron) are gettin’ it on, so Finn (Cory Monteith) and Rachel (Lea Michele) decide to investigate. They stake out a seedy motel, but find Sam and Kurt (Chris Colfer) are the ones in there together. Later, they see Sam and Quinn leaving the motel. Who knew Sam was so popular?
An additional rumor — wow, Sue is really on a roll; Perez Hilton would be proud! — involves Schue (Matthew Morrison) planning to leave McKinley so he can take April Rhodes’s autobiographical and unbelievably ridiculous (in a good way) musical to the Great White Way.
Emma (Jayma Mays), who is getting more relaxed about her food (although she isn’t about to be invoking the five-second rule anytime soon), thinks Will should indeed follow the show to Broadway. He’s tempted, but he refuses to abandon the glee kids. Whadda guy!
Meanwhile, the rumors about Sam cause Finn and Quinn to question their relationship, until Sam finally reveals that he’s been taking care of his young siblings in that infamous motel room because his dad lost his job. It’s gotten so hard that he’s even considering quitting glee. Luckily, Finn and Rachel talk him out of it, and Sam brings his equally blonde sibs to glee and serenades them. It's not Disneyland, but it's something, right?
So the episode is a ton of fun — all that relationship drama! — and it even manages to expose a younger generation to the wonder that is Stevie Nicks. Okay, so it’s a little tough having to go a whole episode without a Warblers number, but we suppose we can find a way to survive without them for one week. Maybe next week they can do a Shaq song! (Or not.)
Don't miss the sneak peek for next week's "Prom Queen":