Credit: Illustration by Wetpaint (Original Source: Brian Bowen Smith/FOX) Photo: glee33moredays

Don’t look now, but we’re a mere three days away from a new season of Glee! (That said, you probably shouldn’t just sit in front of your TV for the next three days and wait until Glee is on. Get some fresh air, for goodness sake!)

In honor of its long-awaited return, we’re counting down the days, continuing with synopses of the first Season 3 episodes (with spoilers, naturally). Try to stay calm.

Episode 1: “The Purple Piano Project”
It’s a new year at McKinley, which means plenty of changes: The Glee Project’s Lindsay Pearce makes her debut; Santana and Brittany are back on the Cheerios; Wemma is (sorta) back on; Quinn has a new look and a dangerous new clique; and New Directions has a new member, who used to be on a competing choir. (We’re guessing his name rhymes with “mane,” as in, “We’d to love to run our fingers through that dark, curly mane of his.” Just a guess!)

And Sue is finding politics to be a bit tougher than it appeared to be on, say, the sitcom Spin City. To combat low poll numbers, she finds a new campaign strategy that seems to work: Cutting all funding from the arts. Looks like “New Sue” didn’t last long. (Could this mean that Will and Sue just might butt heads this season? First time for everything!)

Episode 2: “I Am Unicorn”
Rachel’s mom Shelby is back in town, this time heading up a second choir at McKinley, which doesn’t make Schue all that thrilled. (But which choir will be the “iPod” and which be the “Zune”? Only time will tell.)

Meanwhile, the school’s production of West Side Story is being directed by Coach Beiste, Emma, and Artie, and they have to settle on the male lead, which causes conflict between the two leading candidates, Kurt and Blaine. See, people — this is why you don’t mix business with pleasure. Plus, Brittany is leading Kurt’s campaign for class president (and if Brittany is your best chance to get elected, we’re pretty sure your campaign slogan might as well be, “No, We Can’t”).

Episode 3: “Asian F”
This episode appears to be all about Mike Chang! (We’re so there!) When Mike gets an A-minus in a class (a.k.a. an Asian F), his parents force him to quit glee. Sounds like we’ll finally meet his ‘rents here! Meanwhile, Rachel and Mercedes square off for the lead in the play (and we’re sure Rachel is going to be totally gracious if she loses, right?), and Brittany is suddenly the front-runner for class president. (Even George W. Bush would say that Brittany isn’t that bright, and that’s saying something.)

And speaking of meeting parents, Schue is hurt that Emma still doesn’t want him to meet her folks. (Uh, shouldn’t not having to meet your significant other’s parents be seen as a good thing?)

 

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