Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Quinn, Sugar, Ricky Martin’s David Martinez, and Santana in Glee Season 3, Episode 12: “The Spanish Teacher”

It’s official: Ricky Martin’s Glee debut was muy awesome! In fact, the entire episode was a South-of-the-border blast, with Sue catching baby fever, Finn evaluating his pudding, and Brittany as the cutest bull in the history of cute bulls (which is not a lot of competition, but still). Uh, any chance Emma can print us out a pamphlet for how to deal with a Glee addiction?

Season 3, Episode 12: “The Spanish Teacher” kicks off with Figgins informing Schue that he received a negative comment from a student and that he should rediscover his passion for teaching, especially with a tenure position newly available. (Note: Germany did not win World War II. Pass it on.) Enter David Martinez, who could make anyone rediscover their passion for anything, even fluoride.

Schue informs New Directions that they’ll be performing songs with Spanish in them this week, and so he encourages them to find their “duende” by introducing David. At that, David launches into a bilingual, hip-shaking rendition of “Sexy and I Know It.” And we hate to say it, since we typically think of LMFAO as barely talented goofballs energetic opportunists, but his version of the song freakin’ rocked. Sexy, indeed.

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: The New Directions Boys Perform in Glee Season 3, Episode 12: “The Spanish Teacher”

And as much as Ricky impressed us with his dance moves and swagger — not to mention his acting — several of our favorite scenes happened to be Ricky-free, as they were instead focused on the Rachel-Finn storyline. First off, we adored watching Kurt, Rachel, and Mercedes trading bowls of snacks while watching Twilight. (No, it won’t be easy to forgive Mercedes for that line about K-Stew being “ass-less,” but we suppose that time can heal all wounds, right?)

And then we especially loved Kurt’s scene with Finn after he (finally!) hears about the proposal. We find it a little hard to believe that Finn wouldn’t have already told Kurt himself that he was going to propose, but Kurt’s beautiful pep talk to Finn totally makes up for it. And granted, Finn seems to be receiving more pep talks these days than most people receive coupons for tanning salons slipped under their car's windshield wiper, but given Finn’s recent bad news, we understand why he needs it.

We haven’t always been entirely enthused about some of Sue’s plotlines of late, but we ended up loving her involvement tonight. Seeing her yearn for motherhood feels like a natural progression of her recent arc, especially since she was still able to have so much fun with it, like when she encouraged Schue to “stimulate” himself to magazines with herself on the cover. If that’s how magazines are being used these days, then maybe we understand why the publishing industry is in shambles.

Sue’s storyline also allowed for the return of Coach Roz, who had a near-endless supply of hilariously outrageous lines tonight. (Her comments about Sue giving birth to an adult with a briefcase, or her threesome with Michael Phelps? Love!)

Sam’s stint on the synchronized swimming team is looking like it was probably a one-episode affair, which isn’t the worst thing ever, since it was a tad silly (and we doubt that plotline could ever find a way to top the giddy high of Will’s synchonized-swimming proposal). True, we’re never happy about the prospect of fewer glimpses of Sam’s abs, but as long as Roz can stick around via this awesome rivalry with Sue, we’ll live.

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Will Schuester Sings in Glee Season 3, Episode 12: “The Spanish Teacher”

Speaking of Samcedes, the idea of having them not speak for a week was an oddly romantic idea, not to mention that it totally seemed like something that Emma would come up with. We’re just glad that dorky Sam didn’t resort to communicating with Mercedes via pantomime; we want Glee to remain a MFZ (that is, a Mime-Free Zone).

And by the end of the episode, we’re freakishly excited about Samcedes reuniting, even though it feels like it’s taking longer for them to get back together than it’s taking for America to find a Republican presidential nominee. We just wish Mercedes would drop Shane already and end his misery! The look on his face when he’s about to spend time with Mercedes — whom he knows would rather be with Sam — is like the look that we get when we’re about to take a bite of veggie pizza: Sure, it’s technically pizza, but it’s just not the same.

So we’ll go ahead and reward that snack-bowl scene as our “Fave Scene of the Night,” but a close second was Schue finally giving Emma her much-deserved props for earning tenure. (We love that Emma and Beiste are becoming the cutest besties ever!) And we should point out that if we had been Emma, and Schue had called our pamphlets “silly,” we would have been extremely tempted to give him the same hand gesture that singer M.I.A. gave to the Super Bowl halftime crowd this past weekend. (Just sayin’!)

And we couldn't help but feel for poor Schue, who learned that it was Santana who had complained about his teaching skills. Granted, that matador jacket was clearly too much, but we loved Finn's line about it looking like it belonged it Kurt's closet. And then the scene was salvaged with Santana quoting from Schue himself. You know that Santana is in rare form when she can put us in stitches (with her Dora the Explorer comment) and tears in the same scene. How on earth does she do it? Oh, and while we're at it: Where on earth was Brittany for most of the episode? We want answers!

 

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Sue Sylvester in Glee Season 3, Episode 12: “The Spanish Teacher”

As for the songs, most of them were a tall glass of fun. In fact, let’s just say that, if you didn’t have to towel yourself off due to excessive perspiration after Santana and Sr. Martinez’s smokin’ hot rendition of “La Isla Bonita,” then we’ll assume it’s because you have some kind of rare genetic condition where your body can’t produce sweat. And now we just feel mean for making fun of your weird skin thing, so we apologize.

So this was a hilarious episode with mucho character development, as Sue, Schue, and Finn all face major decisions ahead. And now we can’t wait for next week’s episode, which will bring the moment we’ve all been waiting for: The introduction of Rachel’s dads! We just hope we can come up with ways to stay busy until then. If anyone needs us, we’ll be flossing.