Credit: Jordin Althaus/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Glee is finally back, and the newest episode was more thrilling than Transformers 4! Proving that this show is always worth the wait, this episode was jam-packed with everything from a young (read: pre-bow tie) Blaine (Darren Criss); a happy Quinn (Dianna Agron) (say what?); and Sue (Jane Lynch) using the F-word about Schue (Matthew Morrison) and Emma (Jayma Mays) (no, the other F-word). In fact, we’re crazy about this episode, and you know that we’re serious because we’re pointing at you while we say it!

The episode, "Big Brother," wastes no time in filling us in on some big news. First, we learn that Finchel did not in fact get hitched; we also learn that Nationals is in Chicago this year, as Finn (Cory Monteith) suggests having the wedding at Wrigley Field. Uh, considering that the Cubs have gone 103 years without making it to the World Series, does Finn really think that their home field is a particularly lucky place?

The final big piece of info we get is that Quinn is alive and (almost-but-not-quite) well. In fact, Quinn says that she’s better than ever, as we actually see her — gasp! — smiling. And let’s face it: We typically assume that the odds of Quinn smiling in any given episode are about as high as the odds of Adele writing a new song about how great men are. (Come to think of it, watching Quinn wheeling around with Artie (Kevin McHale) almost gives new meaning to the phrase “rolling in the deep.”)

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX © 2011 Fox Broadcasting Co.

After that, we catch up with pregnant Sue, as she learns that she’ll now be co-head of the Cheerios, along with sassy-with-a-capital-s Coach Roz (NeNe Leakes). We would say that Sue’s pregnancy is taking the show dangerously close to jump-the-shark territory, but considering this is a show that had a fake pregnancy in its first few episodes, we’re thinking that it can jump as many sharks as it wants and keep right on trucking.

Roz is hilarious as always, with quotes about bats and a lawyer baby, which makes us wish for more of her. Roz’s brief scene is like that lone French fry that got mixed in with your onion rings - it’s such a tease. And Sue is outraged, but we can’t help but remind her that this is very similar to when Sue herself named Santana (Naya Rivera) as a Cheerios co-captain. How does that medicine taste, Sue? (And is it just us, or does “Lawyer Baby” sound like the name of an awesome new SNL character? You can thank us later, Lorne Michaels.)

But no one ever said that Sue (a.k.a. McKinley’s own Tabatha) is a pushover, and so she convinces Figgins that she should run glee. (Uh, we’re not sure exactly who is in charge of HR at this school, but the methods by which teachers get hired and fired seem more than a little haphazard.) And if we were Sue, we would start a petition to make “cell-phone throwing” an official sport at this summer’s Olympic games, considering that she practically threw Mercedes’ (Amber Riley’ phone into a whole new time zone. 

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co.

The most fun storyline of the evening, however, was the introduction of the hilariously named Cooper Anderson (Matt Bomer), Blaine’s big bro who’s visiting home after making it big (or should we say, “making it medium”) as a pitchman for a credit-rating website. To say that he’s no Marlon Brando is putting it politely; taking an acting lesson from Coop is like taking a cooking class from someone who still reads the directions that come on a can of soup. (By the way, have you read those canned-soup directions before? The only instruction is basically, “Don’t eat the can.”)

It turned out that this episode was a promising one for two groups of shippers: Team Quoe and Team Quartie. Case in point: Quinn convinces Teen Jesus (Samuel Larsen) to join New Directions, while Quinn has the time of her life with Artie during “Crip Skip.” Sure, Artie and Quinn bickered at the end of the episode, with Artie worried that she’s not facing reality about the fact that she might never walk again, but it certainly looked as though a romance could be brewing!

Then again, we must admit to being surprised that those Quinn and Artie didn’t want to join their friends at Six Flags. Don’t they know that being in a wheelchair is the best way to visit a theme park because you get to skip all the lines? How does Artie not yet realize this?!

Credit: Jordin Althaus/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co.

However, things don’t look quite so promising for another group of shippers, which leads us to the Big Question: Are we witnessing the beginning of the end for Finchel? It almost seems that Finn just wants to move out to CA solely to chase after rich Beverly Hills MILFs, with Rachel still deadset on the Big Apple. And is Finn really staking his future on Puck’s business acumen? We must say that we trust Puck’s business skills almost as much as we trust the business skills of whoever it was who invented the Doritos taco at Taco Bell.

When it comes to our Favorite Scene of the Night, that would go to Blaine and Coop declaring that they’re “friends” after blowing us away with a powerful rendition of “Somebody That I Used to Know.” But our second-favorite scene was Sue and Becky’s hug, after Becky hears that Sue is expecting a daughter (who may have Down syndrome). Okay, so we also loved the scene where Cooper signs Sue’s breast, but mainly because we were jealous of Sue.

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co.

And then there are plenty of things that we didn’t even have to time discuss. Like, how awesome is it to see Brittana holding hands on that roller coaster? And how hilarious is Sam’s (Chord Overstreet) newest nickname, “Kentucky Fried Stripper”? And why exactly was Sugar (Vanessa Lengies)wearing a giant bow on her head that appeared to be the same size as those bows that you see on top of new vehicles during car commercials?

So the Cooper storyline might have been a tad silly and inconsequential, but it was a blast, and Matt Bomer did an awesome job — which is the same thing that we said about Neil Patrick Harris’ guest-spot as Bryan Ryan back in Season 1. But we’re not so sure how we feel about the fact that Finchel are on the verge of breaking up for approximately the 1,378th time. (When it comes to Finn and Rachel’s stability, the more things change...)

Overall, this was a great way for Glee to return, with plenty of fun and a hint of sadness. We can almost not bear to wait any longer to learn whether Quinn will finally get to walk again. In the meantime, we could use a snack. Anyone know how to prepare a can of soup?

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