Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Santana and Rachel Perform in Glee Season 3, Episode 17: “Dance With Somebody”

Ain’t it shocking what Glee can do! Tonight’s stellar Glee episode had a ton of amazing moments, between Quinn and Joe coming thisclose to hooking up, Burt and Kurt making us cry (what else is new?), and all those mind-blowing Whitney Houston tunes. And with Brittany’s hilarious comment about cheetahs, combined with her Season 1 line about dolphins being gay sharks, maybe Brit’s true passion is zoology?

Were we the only ones who enjoyed tonight’s episode so much that we want to celebrate by drinking champagne on a Tuesday? We doubt it! The episode, “Dance with Somebody,” kicked off with Schue showing concern that glee club’s prolonged mourning of Whitney stems from their fear of moving on with their lives after graduation. Then again, maybe Schue just hasn’t seen Waiting to Exhale recently enough.

But we challenge you to not to find it adorable when Schue reveals that he wants to move up his wedding so that New Directions will be certain to attend. Mr. Schue is so pinchably cute sometimes! Also, he clearly needs some friends his own age.

Early in the episode, we got a pretty big “HCTHPNTUTIH” moment. (That is, a “How Can This Happen?! Please No, Tell Us This Isn’t Happening!!!” moment. But you probably guessed that’s what it stood for, right?) That moment came when Kurt met a guy named Chandler at Between the Sheets (gotta love that wordplay) and — huge gasp! — gave him his phone number. How could Kurt do that? Was he really considering cheating on Blaine? And is it just us, or did that tall knit cap of Chandler’s sort of make him resemble a Smurf? (Obviously, his name would be “Annoying Smurf.”)

We gotta say it: We were stunned that Kurt would exchange numbers, which then led to Chandler sending Kurt a ton of cheesy compliments via text message. (Okay, so Chandler’s line about Kurt’s “asp” was kinda clever, but still.) But once we found out that Blaine has been pulling away from Kurt because he was afraid of being without him next year, we at least realized that they in fact still love each other. Deep breaths, everyone!

To be honest, it’s nice to see that Klaine can have an argument and emerge stronger than ever, even if Klaine having to face a major issue is almost as rare an occurrence as Will Smith making a subpar movie. Then again, as painful as it was to watch Klaine’s fight, it wasn’t nearly as painful as having to sit through the Will Smith film Wild Wild West.

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Blaine Performs in Glee Season 3, Episode 17: “Dance With Somebody”

Is everyone out there excited about the possibility of a Quoe hook-up? Well, you should at least try to get excited (and yes, Team Quick, we’re looking at you!), because Joe and Quinn getting together is basically a foregone conclusion.

Frankly, we’re totally onboard with Joe and Quinn! Joe is totally sweet and is certainly smitten with Quinn, as he gets all handsy with her during physical therapy and even asks Sam for help (awkward!). Our only advice to Quinn? She should probably carry hand sanitizer around with her wherever she goes, just in case she ends up taking Joe up on his offer to rub his dread for luck. (Translation: When it comes to his hair, Joe doesn’t strike us as a lather-rinse-repeat kind of guy.)

For our “Favorite Scene of the Week,” we had oodles of gems to choose from, but we’re gonna have to go with that totally cute scene between Rachel and Santana in front of Santana’s locker, following their stellar duet. To be honest, we had thought that the odds of a Rachel-Santana reconciliation (and hug — love it!) was about as likely as finding a jar of spaghetti sauce that opens the first time you try to turn it, and yet we were wrong. Team Loberry for the win!

So many other great scenes could qualify as a runner-up for the Best Scene slot, but we’ll go with that touching scene between Kurt and Burt. These two manage to crack us up (Starsky and Gay Hutch!) just as they’re making us cry. In fact, if you could listen to Burt tell Kurt that “we made each other men” and you still had dry eyes, then you just might need to consult an ophthalmologist.

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: Santana and Brittany Dance in Glee Season 3, Episode 17: “Dance With Somebody”

Of course, let’s not forget about the songs! While a few of last week’s songs failed to impress us (let’s call it falsetto overload), all of this week’s songs were across-the-board amazing, from the a cappella “How Will I Know,” to Brittana doing “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” in those Whitney-esque grey dresses and sparkly bows, to Kurt finally getting his own song and blowing us away on “I Have Nothing.” Whitney would certainly have been proud of them all.

And then there were plenty of other things to discuss about the episode, like the fact that Sam lost his virginity last year, apparently to a customer at the strip club. Say what?! (Talk about romantic.) And sure, Blaine was looking as sexy as always this week (especially in that all-black ensemble during “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay”), but where the heck were his bow ties? We can’t be the only ones currently going through bow tie withdrawals as a result, right?

As we mentioned before, it was great to hear a song from Kurt, but why has Tina been basically nonexistent for so much of this season? She would have nailed a Whitney song, but she just wasn’t given the chance. Come to think of it, it was also a little funny to have no Sue and basically no Finn (but admit it — it was kinda nice to get a break from the Finchel drama for a week, right?).

Credit: Adam Rose/FOX ©2011 Fox Broadcasting Co. Photo: The New Directions Watch a Performance in Glee Season 3, Episode 17: “Dance With Somebody”

So between the sensational slate of songs and the oh-so-touching moments of the students (and Schue) dealing with the impending graduation, this was a super episode. And while it might not have seemed like a lot of things actually happened, we actually liked that about the episode, since everyone got a chance to realize how much they all mean to each other. Heck, even Puck got all nostalgic about his bro-ments!

We can’t wait for next week’s episode (Whoopi!), but in the meantime, we’re going to rewatch this week’s songs about a hundred times each. Can someone pass us the champagne?