Credit: Fox Flash

Two things to keep in mind: 1.) Glee is back from an eternal hiatus with an amazing and shocking (what are you doing, Rachel??) new episode; and 2.) Fake snowflakes are not as delicious as they look. And it’s time for the recap, so heat up a turkey burger, loosen your neck brace, and grab some "special" brownies!

The episode, “Sadie Hawkins,” begins with Tina proposing that McKinley throw a Sadie Hawkins dance, which Blaine is opposed to but is overruled. It turns out Tina just wanted the dance as an excuse to ask out Blaine. We like a girl after our own heart.

And right away, we thought this plot was a tad ridiculous  why are they making Tina sorta nutty?  but then there was that shot where we got a close-up of Blaine’s butt as Tina checks out him while singing her song, and we were like, “Okay, we’ll allow it.” Three words: Blaine. Got. Back.

Credit: Eddy Chen/FOX ©2012 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Kurt has his first day at NYADA  which should have come four months ago, since he should have been admitted with Rachel from the start, but we digress. Kurt sadly realizes he’s at the bottom of the social hierarchy, meaning if NYADA’s student body were the Baldwin brothers, he would be Stephen Baldwin. (“I really liked the 1996 Stephen Baldwin-Pauly Shore comedy Bio-Dome,” said no one ever.)

Kurt decides to join the Adam’s Apples (what a very biblical name), and so we meet Adam. So what did we think of Adam? Uh, how to be polite. Well, it’s fun to see Kurt with someone who is even peppier than he is, not to mention someone who loves giving Kurt compliments. By the way, Kurt does look Paul Newman-esque. (And now we’re hungry for salad dressing.)

But we couldn’t help comparing Adam’s introductory song  the goofy-but-charming “Baby Got Back"  to Blaine’s mind-blowing introductory song from Season 2, “Teenage Dream.” It’s almost not even fair to compare these two songs, and it’s probably not fair to compare the guys either. But we’re happy Kurt’s happy, and it was cute to see Rachel encouraging Kurt to go for it.

It’s time for the school dance, which Blaine is thankfully allowed to wear hair gel to. Among the dates are the chaste Jarley and surprisingly cute Puck and Kitty (who knew?). Blaine accompanies Tina as a friend — to make up for burning her earlier  but the person he really wants to take to the dance is Sam. That’s right  Sam. Since when did the entire school become gaga for Trouty Mouth?

Credit: Eddy Chen/FOX ©2012 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Meanwhile, Sam is busy blowing the whistle on the Warblers (get it  because the Warblers performed “Whistle” at Sectionals this year?) and figures out that the Warblers guys are juicing. This is when we meet Trent, the sunshine-y Warbler who turns on his group and saves the day. Maybe the Warblers will soon be telling their story to Oprah Winfrey, a la Lance Armstrong?

Finally, Brody is way late for his turkey burger date with Rachel, which makes Rachel want to throw out his turkey burger  although we would have recommended throwing out the turkey burger anyway, since turkey burgers are totally gross. But they have a cute, music-free dance, and suddenly Rachel is going to have to let Kurt know that they now live in an apartment for three.

So what did we think of the episode? We thought it was great, with a ton of hilarious lines and an excellent blend of songs (we miss you, TLC!), along with Jake and Marley becoming the cutest couple ever. And we're finally starting to kinda-sorta like Kitty, which certainly took long enough.

Credit: Eddy Chen/FOX ©2012 Fox Broadcasting Co.

As for that Brochel scene, we’re a little taken aback, but in a good way; we did not see these two moving in together so quickly, but who doesn’t like one of Glee’s patented surprise endings? Come to think of it, we probably shouldn’t be that surprised to see Rachel being impulsive about a relationship (Finchel engagement, anyone?). Long story short, we’re starting to see some appeal to joining Team Brochel. For now.

For our “Favorite Scene of the Night,” we’ll give it to Blaine and Tina sitting on the ground, talking about pain and stuff. We love these two as besties! As for our Best Scene runner-up, we’re going with Sam’s frantically realizing that Hunter's head is now roughly the size of Betty Boop's.

As for some minor quibbles? We think it’s great that Tina got so much screentime tonight, but c’mon — her storyline was a little silly. And we loved seeing Lauren Zizes back, but how does the show bring back both Lauren and Puck and not at least have them acknowledge each other or insult each other a bit? Opportunity lost for some great Pizes zingers.

All in all, 'twas a very promising start to the second half of the season. Now if you don’t mind, we’re busy passing around a petition to make Magic Mike: The Musical a real thing. Care to sign?