It’s movie night on Glee! We’re recapping Season 4, Episode 15: "Girls (and Boys) On Film" — so take out your fake contacts, hide your pager, and throw on your red-haired wig.
Our only beef with the episode? The fact that numerous guys were sliding around in their underwear, and one of those guys wasn’t Blaine. But we’ll try to move past it.
White Snow and Red Wigs
The episode begins with Schue announcing “movie songs” as the theme. (And yet no one sang “My Heart Will Go On” this week? What gives?) Schue still hasn’t heard from Emma, so Finn and Artie Seymour Hoffman put on red wigs and find out where she’s staying from her parents. Meanwhile, we find out that Finn is adorable in any color of coif.
Santana is stuck indoors during an NYC blizzard with Kurt, Adam, and Rachel (Lea Michele) watching Moulin Rouge, and it’s safe to say Santana is about as desperate to leave that apartment as Tim Robbins was to leave the prison in Shawshank Redemption. (Someone get her a rock hammer, stat.)
Meanwhile, Santana is causing trouble by going on a thorough investigation of the apartment and finding that Mr. Plastic — aka Brody — has a pager. As we all know, the only reason to own a pager in 2013 is because you’re a doctor or a drug dealer — and call it a hunch, but we don’t expect Brody to be doing any open-heart surgeries anytime soon.
Baby, Baby, Baby, No
Schue tracks down Emma and holds up a boombox to sing to her, Lloyd Dobler-style. Emma admits that know who Will was anymore after he returned from DC, so they vow to have movie nights to reconnect. Well, Emma and Schue’s reconciliation is all tied up in a nice little package, right? Case closed, right?
If only. Finn’s adorable little conscience is bugging him (suck it up, dude!), so he confesses to having kissed Emma before the wedding. Schue then breaks our hearts by silently walking away. Looks like Sue suddenly has one more person to join in her anti-Finn campaign!
Rachel remains convinced that Brody isn’t a drug dealer, but she clearly has other things on her mind. Rachel tears up after Santana tells her that she found the pee stick, and this seems to be a pretty clear sign that Rachel is preggers. And in other news, Emma just had a heart attack at the thought of Santana digging through the trash.
Marley is having love drama of her own. Jake unleashes his inner Swayze and stages a recreation of the pottery scene from Ghost, but Marley backs away because she keeps having fantasies of kissing Ryder. Shocking! We thought no one could resist a person’s inner Swayze.
Big question: Does this mean Jarley is dunzo? Bigger question: What exactly did those two make on that pottery wheel? It looked like they turned their blob of clay into a slightly rounder blob of clay. This is what Pottery Barn is for, people.
Our Favorite Scenes of the Night
So what did we think of the episode? Frankly, we’re kinda freaking out about Rachel’s incoming bundle of... well, joy doesn’t seem to be the right word. Is it Brody’s? Either way, the show seems to be setting up some kind of major secret about the guy. We’re guessing Brody’s not a drug dealer, but we don’t know what he actually is. Our money is on hitman, but that’s just us.
Are you rooting more for Jarley or for Ryley? We’re actually feeling good about this week’s development, since we’d definitely love to see Marley give Ryder a shot after all those adorable (although slightly creepy) presents he gave her last time. We also kind of want to see a Jake vs. Puck competition for Kitty’s affection. May the best bro win.
As for our favorite scene of the episode, that’s a toughie, with all the amazing and hilarious movie recreations. Ultimately, we’re giving our Favorite Scene award to Kurt and Blaine’s uber-romantic Moulin Rouge-inspired rooftop dance to “Come What May.” Why the heck isn’t Klaine back together already?
However — and this is a pretty big however — we will say that our second favorite scene was Adam holding Kurt’s hand at NYADA as they go off to a mushy movie. Sure, it’s possible that Kurt is only giving Adam a shot because he’s safe and won’t hurt him like Blaine did. Still, Adam is growing on us, so we think this relationship is good for Kurt.
Also, as much as enjoyed the song selection, Glee should consider doing a movie episode every year, since so many great film songs were neglected. We wouldn’t have mind hearing maybe something for Once — not to mention a Disney song. Or maybe we should just be relieved that Brody didn’t reveal his involvement in the sex trade by singing “It’s Hard Out Here For a Pimp.”
All in all, we didn’t get a lot of answers tonight, but the episode did set some exciting twists into motion. If anyone needs us, we’ll be up on our own rooftop, just on the off-chance that someone as adorable happens to Blaine up there waiting for us. You never know.