What the what? Sure, tonight’s entire Glee episode was “great” (to quote Anna Wintour), with all its stripping and makeovers and, uh, did we mention the stripping? Because we really liked the stripping. But... that ending! The episode’s ending took us completely by surprise and elevated this episode to “instant classic” status! Bold words, but we’ll say them again: Instant! Classic!
So grab a shame Triscuit, crank up some Ace of Base, and put on your spankles — it’s time to recap “Makeover.”
At the start of tonight’s episode, we learn that Blaine Warbler is missing Kurt about as much as most people miss recess. (Seriously — can you believe there was a time in your life when you could go outside and just run around for awhile? Why isn’t that still a thing for adults?) So Blaine decides to challenge Brittany for president. Well, that and dress up like Robin. But who doesn’t dress up as Robin every now and then, right? (Hello? Anyone?)
And speaking of Blaine as Robin, we must inform you that “See Darren Criss in tights” was the last thing left on our bucket list. Now that it’s been crossed off, we can go to our death beds without regrets. And yes, his legs looked as amazing as we imagined. Well done, Glee.
Kurt has an interview for the Vogue.com internship with Isabelle, played by the always hilarious and radiant Sarah Jessica Parker. Kurt nails the interview (note to self: when in doubt, wear a hippo broach), and then he and Isabelle take Rachel on a montage-style makeover, like in every rom-com you've ever seen ever. Then again, if you ask us, Rachel without a headband is like Jack Nicholson without sunglasses. It’s just not right.
Blaine is stressed about his debate with running-mate Sam against Brittany and part-robot Artie, but Blaine soon becomes more stressed about his relationship, since Kurt is a bit self-centered. (Couldn't Blaine have just told Kurt that he was dominating the conversation? Simple, no?)
If you ask us, Klaine's issue seems like a very fixable problem. Also, if you ask us, Klaine breaking up next week would cause our world to lose all meaning. Just so you know. (What, us get overdramatic?)
The election is won by — insert xylophone flourish here — Blaine, thanks to Sam’s abs. Maybe Mitt and Barack should try taking off their shirts at their debates next week? Might work. Plus, Blaine also won thanks to Brittany’s plan to ban summers. (Wait — but if there were no summers, then when would all those terrible Transformers sequels come out?)
And perhaps we should touch on the adults, too? It sounds like Schue might be leaving McKinley for a blue-ribbon panel on music education, thanks to Sue’s help. Yes, we just used the words “Sue” and “help” in the same sentence. First time for everything. (Okay, enough with the adults. Now back to discussing the kids!)
Typically, we have a heck of time narrowing down our “Favorite Scene of the Week,” but this week is an exception. There is no way any scene this week even came close to competing with Rachel inviting Brody to her apartment for dinner, where they ate pizza on the floor (time for Rachel and Kurt to take a trip to IKEA). And then they kissed, and then Finn showed up, and then our minds exploded. Just, like, exploded minds all over the room.
First thing's first, we’re still trying to wrap our heads around the fact that Brody and Rachel’s kiss takes place mere seconds after he tells her he’s not going to touch her. Talk about a quick change of heart! What if famous people in history had changed their minds as quickly as that? What if Patrick Henry had said, “Give me liberty or give me death,” and then right away he was like, “Actually, come to think of it, death is a bit extreme, y'know? Can I take that back?”
And then the stunner of all stunners was seeing Finn at the door. So what do you want to happen? Honestly, we don't know what we want anymore! Certainly, the show has been presenting Brody as a pretty swell guy, so maybe we wouldn’t be devastated if Rachel chooses Brody? (Don’t hate us, Finchel fans!) Then again, Finn and Rachel do have some pretty adorable history, so we might just need to see Finn around Rachel again. (Finn does look pretty cute with that short hair, we must add.)
Seriously — we don't know how we feel about Brody. We are really starting to like the guy, since any dude who does backflips in public is okay in our book. But why does it seem as though he never shares much about himself? Like, why don't we know much about his dating history?
Also, we of course have to discuss Brittany cuddling with Sam after the election. (Looks like Brittany isn’t the unicorn anymore, now that she lost this time around.) But what was that all about?! Look, Sam and Brittany are cute and blond and everything, but there’s no way we’re okay with Brittany being with anyone but Santana. Did you hear us? No. Friggin’. Way.
On a happier note, what did you think of SJP? We thought she was great, and who knew she could sing? Okay, so she probably won’t be signing a record contract anytime soon, but her singing voice was more than capable.
One last thing: Are we the only ones who are starting to love Stoner Brett? Between his “J’accuse!” outburst last week and this week’s “Separation of powers — woo!” comment during the debate, he’s becoming our favorite scene-stealer. (Sorry, Jacob Ben Israel — you had a good run.)
Honestly, we're still processing that crazy and amazing and stunning (and many other adjectives) episode. We seriously cannot wait until next week to see what Rachel and Finn say to each other, but we're more than a little worried about all the impending break-ups. Why must life be so difficult for us?
So if anyone needs us, we'll be busy trying to kill time until next week by doing some extreme couponing. Give us next week's episode or give us
death a painful but not-too-painful injury.