Twitter update: Tonight’s Glee episode was so “genius” that it reminded us of the good ol' days of the show! We pinkie promise that the episode had everything, with Quinn returning for that slap fight with Santana (slaps-giving!), to Jarley getting closer, to the cutest Klaine scene in what feels like decades. Oh, and you can’t tell, but we’re winking at you right now. Be impressed.
The episode, “Thanksgiving,” begins with a sensational mash-up of “Homeward Bound”/”Home” featuring many of the returning graduates, including Quinn and Santana. And just like that, we’re in tears in record time. C’mon — who can maintain dry eyes during a group hug? No one — that's who.
So yes, the show had made us wait an inhumane length of time this season to see Quinn and Santana rejoin Brittany as the Unholy Trinity. (Seriously — we’re still bitter.) But this week, the show more than made up for it, with their awesome performance of “Come See About Me.” The Trinity is as Unholy and goddess-like as ever. And one of them (Quinn) is even dating a married professor, although we're not sure if that's a win or not.
Finn then pairs up each graduate with a member of New Directions to prepare for Sectionals, and we learn that Kitty is scarily obsessed Quinn. Of course, who wouldn’t want a “What Would Quinn Fabray Do” sign staring down at them during every waking moment? (However, Quinn's advice to certain situations would be, “Yes, you should definitely steal a baby,” so you may want to pick and choose when to take her advice.)
Kurt and Rachel both had subpar experiences when they visited McKinley two episodes ago, so now — even though it’s a holiday weekend — they’re both avoiding Lima as adamantly as we avoid the produce section of the grocery store. (Rachel’s arch nemesis? Cassandra. Our arch nemesis? Leafy greens.)
Brody takes over for Cassandra’s class, and not only is he not at all ashamed to have slept with Cassandra, he basically offers to give Rachel the play-by-play. (No, Brody — we don’t want to hear about Cassandra’s butt. Your butt, on the other hand? That we want to hear about.) When Brody learns that Rachel is handling kitchen duty for Turkey Day, he offers to step in, lest Rachel end up with another pizza night on her apartment floor.
Jake is now seriously an amazing character, as he blows the “Gangnam Style” dance audition in front of Mike in order to let Ryder shine. We were previously going back and forth on who Marley should choose, but our waffling days are over: Sure, Ryder is great, but we’re all about Team Jarley.
It’s Sectionals time, and the Warblers kick things off with “Whistle” (serious meh) and “Live While We’re Young” (total blast). Marley isn’t feeling so hot, as she’s been starving herself and taking laxatives. We have to admit that we were worried that Marley’s eating disorder would be another “topic of the week” that the show would quickly forget (as in domestic violence, et al), but we appreciate that the show is making this a genuine storyline, as painful as it is to watch.
t’s now time for the New Directions to perform “Gangnam Style,” with Ryder giving his dancing duties over to Jake. The performance is amazing, as Tina proves why she deserves approximately 30 songs per episode.
Unfortunately, Marley proves why she should eat solid food once in a while, as she collapses just as the song is finishing. Come to think of it, Marley's philosophy toward food might be rubbing off on Kurt and Rachel, since those two somehow threw the only Thanksgiving party in history during which not a single morsel of food appears to have been eaten. At least there was plenty of workin’ going on at that party.
The big question, of course, is: Where can we get a pair of cute suspenders like the Mennonite group? No, wait — the actual big question is: Who will win Sectionals? If you ask us, the Warblers were as impressive as always, but can they really advance by performing Flo Rida and One Direction? Sure, the Warblers can do backflips until their hearts are content, but it doesn’t make “Whistle” into a song that anyone wants to cheer for.
As for our “Favorite Scene of the Week,” we had two very close contenders. The runner-up was Kurt and Blaine’s phone conversation, which was all kinds of magical. Blaine is still trying to apologize for cheating on Kurt, because if you know one thing about Blaine, it’s that he’s sorry for cheating on Kurt.
Actually, we take that back — if you know one thing about Blaine, it’s that he has fabulous hair. But if you know two things about Blaine, it’s that he has fabulous hair and that he is sorry for cheating on Kurt. Both are important things to know about him.
However, Isabelle convinces Kurt to talk to Blaine and tell him that they can sort things out over Christmas. Then, the two tell each other that they love each other, and suddenly we got so emotional that we turned into a puddle, right then and there. Someone needs to order a ShamWow, stat.
But that’s just the runner-up. Our top favorite scene was — you guessed it — that Quinntana slap fight! As we said, this episode was vintage Glee, and this slap fight was the main reason why. It showed how passionate and feisty the two still are — with Santana pissed that Kitty is messing with Marley — and it also reminded us how great they are when sharing a scene. If you ask us, they’re both genius slappers.
So are we frustrated that Glee threw us for a loop with that cliffhanger and made us wait a week to see if New Directions will be disqualified? Well, kinda — but we are loving the suspense, since it really is hard to know who will win this thing.
Also, we're not sure if we're thrilled that New D chose “Gangnam Style” as a competition song. That said, we're not so angry about the choice that we need to cool off by being sprayed with foam (a la Psy in the video).
Long story short, this episode makes us look forward to even more Quinn and Santana action, not to mention the conclusion of Sectionals. But for now, we could use a snack. All of this talk of Thanksgiving makes us feel like pie — but not apple pie, after that conversation that Jake and Ryder had. We may never eat apple pie — or fritters — again.