Talk about a bad week for Brittana fans! But this week’s Glee episode was seriously amazing, with Kurt getting into NYADA, Finchel talking, and Blaine doing the hula hoop (we are very jealous of that hula hoop). Still, Brittana fans are probably so upset about that Bram kiss that we’re a little afraid of them getting their hands on Joe's paintball guns and going on a rampage.
The episode, “Swan Song,” was not without its share of sadness, and we get a dose right out of the gate, with Sue informing New Directions that the Warblers have warbled their way into the judges’ hearts. Just like that, Finn learns that the choir room has been repossessed. Suddenly, Finn has to lead everyone to find a place to reside, like Moses in the Bible, or like Papi in Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
And just like that, Sam decides to seize the moment. Brittany finds a trail of Cheerios (get it — “Cheerios”?) that she devours while leading her to Trouty Mouth. And at first we thought it was kinda gross that she was eating floor Cheerios, but then we remembered she had once eaten a candy bar out of a litter box, and suddenly floor Cheerios were sounding pretty good.
Sam tells Brittany that he’s totally into her, which leads into their version of “Something Stupid.” After the song, Sam tries to — gasp! — kiss Brittany, but she turns him down because she fears the wrath of “all the lesbians of the nation.” Be proud, Team Brittana — you just got your very own shout-out (although not the friendliest shout-out)!
Rachel learns that Carmen has selected her to receive one of NYADA’s ten coveted golden envelopes, meaning she will perform in front of the school’s faculty. This school has the most neuroses-inducing traditions ever, no?
Meanwhile, Kurt also tracks down Carmen, only to be informed that his second audition attempt to the school — in which he hilariously performed an acoustic version of Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” — has been denied. How does Kurt possibly keep striking out? We’re holding you personally responsible, George Michael!
It turns out that everyone in glee club has now joined another school club, meaning they’re about as quick to find a new extracurricular activity as Taylor Swift is to find a new guy after a break-up. And do you really think we’re going to complain about seeing Blaine in an adorable Cheerio uniform? That’s like complaining when you order fries, and instead they hand you cheese fries.
And now: The moment that will live in infamy in the minds of Brittana fans everywhere. Brittany tells Sam that she snagged a reservation for the two of them to eat in the VIP booth at Breadstix. When Sam asks if this is a date, Brittany says she wants him to make her smile, and that her sisters will understand. And so (don’t read the next two words, Brittana fans)... THEY KISS. If you can’t tell, we’re currently handing you a paper bag to breathe into so that you don’t pass out.
Has your rage blindness subsided enough so that you can continue reading the rest of this recap? No? Well, then ask someone to read it out loud. We see that Rachel is surprisingly calm before her NYADA performance. In fact, she talks to Brody beforehand, and THEY KISS. (Our caps lock button is really getting a workout today.)
But what isn’t surprising is the fact that Rachel blows away the competition at the winter showcase, with Carmen calling her superb. Suddenly, Carmen gives Kurt a chance to show her what he’s got, and he impresses everyone with a bells and whistles-free performance of "Being Alive" from Company. Finally, Kurt has gotten into NYADA, and the world has become a slightly better place to live.
So what’s our “Favorite Scene of the Week”? Well, we just plain adored this episode from start to finish, so it’s not an easy choice. Our runner-up is the scene in which New Directions members reveal what they might be doing in a few months without glee, as Blaine is performing on the bath house circuit (we’re so there!) and Brittany is majoring in finance at Brandeis.
And we also loved hearing Brad the piano player talk!
But our top choice this week is the Finchel phone call, which Finn thought was a butt-dial but turns out to be a sweet moment for these two. Rachel tells him about her big win (so cute!) and reminds him that glee is all about the music. This then leads to a powerful group performance of “Don’t Dream It’s Over” in glee's new rehearsal space: the great outdoors.
So what to make of the Sam-Brittany-Santana love triangle? Granted, Sam and Brittany were quite cute this week (don’t hate us!). But would Brittany really be willing to date Santana’s ex? And couldn’t we have gotten a scene where Santana found out that they’re flirting and got to prove how much Brittany means to her? We’ve said it before, but we still don’t know why Brittana had to break up — so they should freakin’ patch things up already!
As for Brochel, it’s kinda hard to root for these two, since we never know which Brody we’ll get on a given day — puppy-dog Brody or sleeping-with-Cassandra Brody. (In reality, the only Brody we really want to see is doing-sit-ups-in-the-park-all-day Brody.) He seems to be good for Rachel for now, but there’s no question that Rachel and Finn are back together by the season finale. (Who’s got our back on that? Nobody?)
But perhaps the most exciting news out of this episode is Kurt finally getting to pursue music again, now that he’ll be joining Rachel at NYADA. We don’t know why it took him this long to get in, but we’re trying our best to be zen about it and let it go.
So this episode gave us a lot to think about, with all that kissing and hula hooping. And what will New Directions now be working toward for the rest of the year? We can't wait to find out. In the meantime, we'll be looking for trails of Cheerios that our secret admirers may have left for us. We're sure we'll find some.