Credit: Adam Rose/©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.

It’s official: Tonight’s Glee Season 4, Episode 18: "Shooting Star" is the show’s most tear-inducing episode ever! Seriously, we’re jealous of anyone who owns stock in Kleenex after how many boxes of tissues we went through. We’re also saddened by how racist Lord Tubbington is, but that’s a separate issue.

The episode was actually amazing and touching, but it indeed provided one of the biggest shockers in Glee history: That’s right — Ken Tanaka is back on the show! Wait, no — the whole gunshot thing was probably bigger than Ken Tanaka. So now for the recap — or as Ryder might say, it’s time to begin our recap-ationship.

Credit: Adam Rose/©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.

When Can We Hear More About Angel Sex?

Brittany (Heather Morris) uses her Pringles can telescope to learn about an approaching asteroid - or is it a meteor? Anyway, the episode starts out a lot like the movie Armageddon. Long story short: Where’s Bruce Willis when you need him? (And when is New Directions going to cover Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” already?)

As they prepare for Regionals — bring it on, Hoosier Daddies and Nun-touchables! — Schue assigns “Last Chance” songs. Ryder takes him up on it by singing to Marisa, whom he thinks is his secret admirer “Katie” but is actually just a girl whose photo was stolen by Katie.

Still, Ryder and Marisa are so cute that we’re now card-carrying members of Team Maryder. However, Ryder is furious that he’s been catfished and finally convinces the real “Katie” to meet him at 3:30 the next day.

Also taking advantage of the “last chance” theme is Beiste, who confesses her love for Schue, Lady and the Tramp-style. And this is cute, but not quite as cute as when Brittany nose-nudged a meatball to Artie a la Lady and the Tramp in Season 2. (This show loves Lady and the Tramp.)

Credit: Adam Rose/©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Saddest. Toilet Scene. Ever.

So we’re sad for Beiste but happy that the asteroid didn’t actually hit earth. (Bruce Willis really is a miracle-worker, isn’t he?) Suddenly, everything changes when two gunshots go off with New Directions in the choir room. And now is the moment when we began crying for about three weeks straight.

Finally, the authorities give the all-clear, and Sue reveals it was her gun that went off accidentally. Figgins has no choice but to let her go — except we realize it was actually Becky’s gun who went off, as she had brought her dad’s gun to school in order to feel safe. We’re still stunned by this unbelievable turn of events. Completely stunned.

Meanwhile, Ryder had called Katie from the choir room during the gunshot aftermath and realized that her backpack was in there. The next day, he waits for Katie but she never shows. So “Katie” is apparently someone in glee club — not that this really rules out any of the show’s main characters. (Basically, the only person to get ruled out is Stoner Brett.)

Credit: Adam Rose/©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.

Our Favorite Scene of the Night

Yes, the episode was heavy on the tears, but it managed to include a positive message about taking chances (and about not making pasta in hot tubs). For our “Favorite Scene of the Night” Award, we’re going with Sam giving Lady Tubbington to Brit. We now have yet another couple to ship: The Tubbingtons! And yes, Bram is growing on us, too.

Our runner-up for best scene goes to Becky and Sue with the gun. Did Sue make the right decision? And is Sue leaving the show for good? (No, please, no!) And in third place, we’re going with the oh-so-sob-worthy moments when everyone records their thoughts on video. Just thinking about it will make us weep. (Here we go again...)

We also enjoyed the song choices, as we’ve secretly been hoping Glee would cover the song “More Than Words” for a while — especially once it was on Glee Project. Sure, maybe it would have been a better fit in the previous “Guilty Pleasures” episode, but it worked here, too. And we’ve never enjoyed a John Mayer song as much as we enjoyed Glee’s take on one tonight.

And now the other big question remaining is: Who’s Katie? We’re standing by Unique as the most likely candidate — given that Katie recently helped Ryder see Unique’s point of view — but we’re mainly just hoping this mystery will be answered soon. We get impatient quickly.

So while we were worried that this episode would cause Glee to yet again tread into the murky waters of Season 3’s Public Service Announcement territory, or that it would feel too soon after recent real-life events, it was actually done in an extremely beautiful way. Maybe not as beautiful as Armageddon, mind you — but what is?