It was cuteness-overload tonight on Glee, with babies, and mother-daughter duets, and sequins — oh, my! Yes, a lot happened in tonight's episode, in which we saw Schue help Finn (ever so slightly) improve his dancing; meanwhile, Brittany apparently believes that unicorns are real. Sounds like someone's living in a fantasy world of make-believe! No, we don't mean Brittany — we're talking about Schue, for believing that Finn has any hope of ever learning rhythm!
At the start of "I Am Unicorn," we learn that Vocal Adrenaline only came in second place at Nationals! (Please give us a moment while we pick our jaws up off of the floor. Okay, now we're good.) That means that their hilariously devious coach from last season, Dustin Goolsby, has been let go. And to be honest, we're actually a little saddened by this development. Is this really the end of New Directions vs. Vocal Adrenaline? That means the end of what has become a historic rivalry, sort of like the Red Sox vs. the Yankees, or paper vs. plastic.
Speaking of Vocal Adrenaline, its other former coach, Shelby (the stunning Idina Menzel), is back! (Note to Schue: Don't look so excited, dude. You're taken.) Shelby is here to start up a second glee club at McKinley, which was funded by the father of tone-deaf Sugar Motta. Rich daddies: sponsoring talent-less kids everywhere since the beginning of time.
As if we're not getting enough of it in the real world, everyone on the show has election fever! As a side note, we always crack up when we think back to that hilarious Season 1 episode when Kurt dated Brittany to fool Kurt’s dad (nice try, Kurt!), and tonight’s episode reminded us of that for two reasons: The first reason is that tonight gave us the first substantial Kurt-Brittany facetime that we’ve gotten in a long, long time. (We’ll get to the second reason momentarily.) As for Kurt’s decision to appoint Brit as his campaign manager, we have to admit that if it were us, initially we would have said we'd much prefer one of those plastic water-drinking birds that look like they're either bowing or saying "yes" as our campaign manager (and every politician loves a yes-man). Kurt may have been thinking the same thing when he fired her immediately thereafter. However, by episode's end, Brittany kind of actually wins us over.
Schue announces that he no longer has time to direct the school’s production of West Side Story, since he’s busy preparing for next year’s Nationals, plus he still wants plenty of time to catch up with all of his friends. (Just kidding! We’re pretty sure that Schue has zero friends, nor does he have any life outside of the school. We’re starting to worry about that dude.) But this means that the play will instead be directed by Beiste, Emma, and Artie. And we love this idea, since it’s great to see Emma and Beiste get involved in new ways on the show – although were not so sure that they’re nearly as qualified to judge talent as, say, Simon and Paula are.
Rachel is about to audition for Maria when she sees Shelby out of the blue. So they do what any mother and daughter would do after being estranged for over a year — they sing show tunes, of course! In this case, it’s a killer duet of “Somewhere.” Does Idina Menzel have pipes or what?
Kurt is now feeling a fair amount of pressure. First of all, he dislikes that the campaign strategy that Brittany devised is mainly focused on the fact that he’s gay. Exhibit A: her sequin-loaded posters showing Kurt riding on a unicorn. (What a coincidence — that’s exactly what Michelle Bachmann was going to do on her campaign posters!) Plus, Kurt gives an amazing Cirque du Soleil-esque audition for the role of Tony, but he overhears the judges saying that he’s not burly enough for the part. To which we say: No comment, since our beloved Kurt has feelings hurt enough this episode.
We’re not sure how to feel about what’s going on with Quinn so far. It was quite moving to see Puck and Quinn get glimpses of Beth and want to be more involved in her life, but we loved that Puck has appeared to make a major transformation, so we wonder why Quinn can’t show a little growth as well. And we don't mean the fake gonna-die-my-hair-back-to-blonde-and-rejoin-glee-club-as-a-ploy-to-get-my-baby-back type of growth she displays by episode's end. Ugh!
Sue continues to improve in the congressional polls, as she is now tied up with pizza mogul Reggie “The Sauce” Salazar (which is a clever allusion to real-life GOP candidate and fellow pizza-lover Herman Cain). Somehow, Sue is managing to compete against candidates who are more experienced and better funded than she is, which also reminds us of the plot of the new film Moneyball. (Oops — we probably shouldn’t mention a Jonah Hill movie, considering that he is currently embroiled in a feud with our beloved Matthew Morrison. We’re with ya, Matty — fight the good fight!)
With school musical audtions close to wrapping up, Rachel is anxious, to say the least. In fact, it's sorta like saying that you’d be nervous about having to teach a course called “Intro to Chainsaw Juggling.” And yet Rachel still manages to find time to help Kurt out, performing an impromptu scene with him to prove that he can do "manly man." Kurt does his best to play Romeo, but the judges can’t help but chuckle at Kurt’s attempt, and our hearts broke even more for him.
Ultimately, things get any better for Kurt: Not only does his rejection of Brittany as his campaign manager inspires her to run for class prez herself, he later witnesses the Artie encourage Blaine to throw his hat in the ring for the lead part of Tony (cliffhanger alert!), even though Blaine had requested a smaller role. Poor Kurt just can’t win.
So we were delighted about tonight’s return of adorable Beth, and we can’t wait to see how all of these storylines play out. Right now, though, we feel like relaxing with a pizza and a movie. Someone get Herman Cain on the phone. (And don’t worry — we promise that the movie won’t be one featuring Jonah Hill. It’s a little thing called solidarity, people.)