We all love Fridays, but the relief wouldn’t be quite as sweet if we didn’t also have to endure the pain of a Monday, too, right? And along those lines, Glee’s not-so-stellar songs help us appreciate the stellar ones even more. Granted, every Glee song is iPod-worthy, but here are the five from Season 3 that we didn’t find ourselves replaying as much as the rest.
Or maybe we just prefer our disposable cups to have illustrations on them, Dixie cup-style.
5. “Red Solo Cup” by Sam
Sam (Chord Overstreet) doesn’t get many solos, so we hate putting one on this list, but this song was just so much less than what we were expecting from Trouty Mouth’s triumphant return to New Directions. We suppose the lyrics were appropriate for Sam’s story, but the vocals were blah, as we’re not even sure that this is our favorite Glee song about a drink receptacle (Brittany’s [Heather Morris] “My Cup,” anyone?). The lyrics refer to a red Solo cup as “cheap and disposable,” and that’s also kinda how we’d describe this song.
4. “Stand” by the Warblers
Maybe we’re just biased, but neither of the Warblers numbers at Regionals impressed us much, especially not this one, which comes off as generic and boy band-ish. We loved Sebastian’s (Grant Gustin) vocals on “Smooth Criminal” (as you can tell from it’s #1 spot on our list of Season 3’s best songs), but the performance here just can’t stand up to all those unbelievable Blaine (Darren Criss)-led Warblers performances of yesteryear. Come to think of it, we’re just glad Blaine is on our side now.
3. “Dinosaur” by Brittany and Santana
It certainly doesn’t help that the original version of this song is the kind of recording that we wish could have been destroyed by the Big Bang. And we appreciate that Brittany puts on a good show — those splits! — but still, her “singing” (or should we say, shouting) leaves something to be desired. With a track record like this, we’re just hoping Glee never decides to do another song by Ke-Dollar-Sign-Ha again.
2. “A Little Less Conversation” by Schue
Sigh. When it came time to square off against David Martinez (Ricky Martin), this was Will’s ace in the hole? We lost a little respect for Schue during this number, not to mention that we’re still shocked that this is the treatment Elvis gets after we’ve waited the entire series for him (not counting “Blue Christmas,” which Elvis only covered). Frankly, we’re struggling to find anything good to say about this fun but offensive number. Uh... we suppose Will looks good in shoulder pads?
1. “The Rain in Spain” by Puck and Finn
Here it is — the most regrettable performance of the year! The nicest thing we can say about this silly little ditty is that it was at least something different. All in all, this song might have been fun in theory but was way too cringe-worthy, as this “vocal performance” just didn’t belong in the same league as the season’s other numbers. By George, this song doesn’t got it.