No one is ever going to confuse Glee for a documentary, and part of what we love about the show is its stylized, over-the-top nature. Still, there are certain plot lines that have required just a bit too much suspension of disbelief over the years. Here are our picks for the top 10 most absurd Glee storylines ever. (Translation: Put down the padding, Terri!)
10. Tina’s stutter: Here today, gone tomorrow.
We’re still not sure why the show randomly decided to make Tina’s (Jenna Ushkowitz) stutter go away, but we’re guessing that they thought it would just be too distracting to keep it up. So suddenly the stutter was something Tina had invented. Um, okay. And we love how barely any of the characters have mentioned this since! If we had a friend who had randomly faked a stutter for a long time, you better believe we’d give them a hard time for it.
9. Ryder had no idea that he could sing.
Ryder (Blake Jenner) tells Finn (Cory Monteith) that he refuses to sing at his Grease audition, and then — lo and behold! — Ryder can belt it out with the best of them. Ryder has now given stellar singing performances in several episodes, so why he somehow didn’t realize his vocal abilities until just this moment is beyond us.
8. Jesse spies on Rachel — and then throws eggs at her.
Sure, Jesse (Jonathan Groff) is a bit of a psycho, but the way the show treated his character was kind of a mystery to us. Are we really to believe that he’d agree to unleash his inner James Bond by spying on Rachel (Lea Michele) for Shelby (Idina Menzel)? And then Rachel and Jesse have that confusing split, apparently due to “Run, Joey, Run” (um, okay), followed by Jesse... tossing eggs at her? Eggs — really? (And we now have a hankering for an omelette.)
7. Sue has a baby. For some reason.
It’s not so much Sue’s (Jane Lynch) age that makes this plotline absurd, or even that she has yet to reveal the father — although both of those are contributing factors. But mainly it’s... why does Sue have a baby now? The baby is barely mentioned on the show, and so it sorta feels like it should have been a passing phase, like when Sue was obsessed with becoming a politician. We still don’t believe that Sue would want a kid, except to use the carpool lane.
6. Artie the football star?
We’re no football experts (we know — you’re shocked), but if our limited experience of watching people playing the Madden video game is to be believed, then you’re not technically allowed to ram into people with your wheelchair. Then again, at least this is a little more believable than Beiste buying a ReWalk for Artie (Kevin McHale) — which costs $100K+ — on her gym teacher salary, as she did in Season 2, Episode 10: “A Very Glee Christmas.”
5. Puck hooks up with Shelby — as Quinn dabbles in babynapping.
Glee has had an endless number of wacky hook-ups on this show (Sue and Figgins?), but Puck (Mark Salling) and Shelby quite possibly takes the cake. And this was of course at the same time that Quinn was losing her mind and trying to snag Beth from Shelby, claiming she’s an unfit mother. We definitely wish Quinn was on the show more often, but “Crazy Quinn”? Not so much.
4. Kurt gets rejected from NYADA and gives up studying music.
We still can’t fathom a world in which Kurt (Chris Colfer) doesn’t get into whichever college music program he wants. Yes, the guy is that good. So how is it that he not only gets rejected from NYADA but then stops studying music altogether? And we love his fashion sense, but we agree with Santana (Naya Rivera) that he became a sounding board for a Vogue editor awfully quickly. We want Kurt to do whatever makes him happy, but we’re happiest when he’s singing his little heart out.
3. Brittana breaks up for no real reason.
We suppose that just living in separate states could be a valid reason for a couple to part ways. But given that Brittany (Heather Morris) only has one more year at McKinley, and that they both clearly have such strong feelings for each other, we’re as bewildered as Brittany is as to why they had to break up. Finchel and Klaine both had serious issues that led to their splits, but Brittana? Not so much.
2. Quinn gets paralyzed in a car accident, then is back to dancing just episodes later.
We’re relieved that Quinn (Dianna Agron) made such a speedy recovery — really, we are! It’s just that the crash she was in seemed so devastating that we were uncertain whether she would even survive. But when she did, she didn’t seem to have too many cuts or bruises. Sure, she was in a wheelchair, but she was dancing around like her normal self in no time. (Case in point: It took her just five episodes to walk again, and she was dancing onstage at Nationals two weeks later.) We’re not ones to complain about miracles, but this was a stretch.
1. Two words: Fake. Pregnancy.
This development from back in the early part of Season 1 is still the most absurd Glee plot line ever! Granted, Schue (Matthew Morrison) has been involved in a few different hard-to-believe plot twists. (He’s a Spanish teacher who doesn’t know Spanish?) But the show has never been as wacky as it was when Terri Schuester (Jessalyn Gilsig) stuffed a pillow in her shirt — and then Will somehow believed that it was a baby. Be ashamed, Will — be very ashamed.