The gang is finally back together! That’s right — in tonight’s episode, entitled “Born This Way,” Kurt (Chris Colfer) transfers back to his friends at McKinley. Sure, we’ve loved Kurt’s stint with the Warblers, but McKinley is clearly where he belongs. After all, just because everyone was excited that Neil Armstrong made it to the moon doesn’t mean they wanted him to stay up there forever. (Translation: A person can play only so much interplanetary golf.)
The episode kicks off with Finn (Cory Monteith) taking his inept dancing to new heights (lows?) when Twinkle Toes accidentally breaks Rachel’s (Lea Michele) nose on the dance floor. Rachel sees a doctor, who suggests a nose job. A note to Rachel’s doctor: There aren’t many women out there who would agree to plastic surgery that quickly, and most of those women are already on a Real Housewives show.
As it turns out, Quinn (Dianna Agron) isn’t the only one with fantasies of landing the title of prom queen. Santana (Naya Rivera) is also after the crown — in hopes that it will help her win over Brittany (Heather Morris). Toward that end, she enlists Karofsky (Max Adler) to be her pretend boyfriend, after she somehow realizes Karofsky is gay. (Her uncanny ability to get dirt on people would impress even the world’s sleaziest private investigators.)
Lauren (Ashley Fink) is pining for the prom queen crown as well. (She frequented the pageant circuit as a child — and was apparently a body-building toddler!) Quinn assumes she won’t be a threat in the race, which spurs Lauren to dig up dirt on her outwardly perfect rival. Zizes hits the mother lode. Armed with Quinn’s big secret, Lauren launches a smear campaign that would make Donald Trump proud: She puts up posters of Quinn back when she was Lucy, an overweight outcast who eventually dropped the pounds and got a nose job before transferring to McKinley.
When Mr. Schue (Matthew Morrison) gets wind of Rachel’s (creepy) plan to model her new nose after Quinn’s, he decides that the kids need to sing about self-acceptance. Schue wants everyone to wear t-shirts emblazoned with their intrinsic flaw, but he isn’t thrilled when Emma (Jayma Mays) fails to put “OCD” on hers during a demonstration.
Santana meets with Karofsky and convinces him to help bring Kurt back to McKinley so that she’ll look like the hero. After Karofsky and his dad sit down with Kurt and Burt (Mike O’Malley) in Figgins’s office, Kurt agrees to make his triumphant return. If you watched Blaine (Darren Criss) and the Warblers sing good-bye to Kurt and Klaine still isn’t officially your favorite couple of all-time, even we can’t help you.
Puck’s (Mark Salling) favorite thing about Rachel has always been her Jewish heritage (well, that and the fact that she has boobs and a heartbeat). He and Kurt stage a “Barbra-vention,” taking Rachel to a mall for a flash-mob dance number that convinces her she’d not only be letting down young girls everywhere if she were to get a nose job, but she’d be letting down Babs herself. (Basically, Rachel needs a bracelet that reads, “What Would Barbra Do?”)
The glee kids — and even Emma! — learn to finally embrace their flaws by putting on their t-shirts and performing Lady’s Gaga newest smash, “Born This Way.” Quinn’s flaws even pay off, as the outdated photo of her pre-transformation self helps her win fans who see her as inspirational. Santana is now with the so-called “love of her life” Karofsky, but they both sit out the Gaga song — although she’s wearing the “Lebanese” shirt that a confused Brit gave her.
After a slightly boring episode last week, Glee is back in fine form and with a great message, some hilarious gags, and a ton of amazing songs. But we also can’t wait for next week, as any episode without Sue (Jane Lynch) in it (especially an extra-long one!) is like having fruit for dessert — it just doesn’t feel right.
Don’t miss the preview for next week’s “Rumours”:
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