High note: This is a rare week, given that Sue isn’t at the top of this list. But Coach Beiste really rattled our angry friend. (Of course, we’re confident Sue will be back at the top and making lives miserable in no time!) However, at the risk of sounding too juvenile, we still have to admit we loved when she wrote “Ass-braham Lick-Colon” on the New Directions sign-up sheet. Who are we to deny her knack for president-related vulgarities? In fact, we actually admire her restraint for not going after an especially easy presidential name like “Harry Truman.”
Out of tune: How is it that so many people are in line to audition for the Cheerios, just so that they can get berated by Sue? There haven’t been this many soon-to-be-disappointed people since all those 'Star Wars' fans who camped out in line for weeks to see 'The Phantom Menace'.
High note: Quinn is back with a vengeance as the new head Cheerio! Looks like she’s a lot better off when she’s not pregnant, much like Mia Farrow in 'Rosemary’s Baby'.
Out of tune: We take it that she and Santana won’t exactly be besties this season, especially considering they even came to blows. We haven’t seen a fight that intense since 'Raging Bull'.
High note: Brittany appears to have made a new friend. No — we’re not talking about one of the new characters, like Sam or Sunshine. We mean that she appears to now be besties with that doll of herself. And who could blame her, seeing as how the doll appears to be incapable of rolling its eyes at everything that she says (unlike most people at that school).
Out of tune: Brittany claims to have spent her summer lost in the sewers, which is certainly embarrassing. Then again, the sewers appear to be good enough for the Ninja Turtles, and who are we to claim to be better than the Ninja Turtles?
High note: We appreciate that Puck appeared to be ready to lend sympathy to Coach Beiste when he noticed that she was crying. Then again, Puck might have come over to her only because he assumes that comforting a crying woman always leads to rebound sex, so it’s now just become an instinct for him.
Out of tune: Exactly how old was that Helen Keller joke that Puck told in the locker room? What other outdated comments can Puck make? Maybe he can inform us that Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson’s marriage isn’t built to last.
High note: We loved her rendition of the Beyonce song “Listen” from Dreamgirls. Let’s just hope she doesn’t continue to follow in every single one of Beyonce’s footsteps and, say, star in a bad 'Pink Panther' remake.
Out of tune: She’s only been here a day and yet she’s already mentioned that Rachel would make her life a living hell. Okay, so maybe Sunshine is smarter than we gave her credit for.
High note: Will didn’t get much story of his own this week, but at least he doesn’t have to deal with football coach Ken anymore, whose absence is unlikely to make anyone cry their eyes out or anything. And if all Will learned from the episode was that he should tone down the rapping, then this week was a win-win situation for everyone involved.
Out of tune: Will again had to deal with Figgins and his threat to reduce the glee club’s budget. Then again, being surprised that the glee club on this show is on the brink of budget cuts is like being surprised every time an Adam Sandler movie gets bad reviews.
High note: She belted that dynamite version of “What I Did For Love” to close out the episode. And who among us doesn’t sing a number from 'A Chorus Line' whenever we’re feeling down?
Out of tune: She sang a duet with Sunshine in... a high school bathroom? Yikes. Never has a Broadway stage seemed more out of reach for poor Rachel.
High note: Beiste finally managed to get on Will’s good side, just in time for him to step in when Beiste was offered some of Sue’s “poop cookies.” Then again, we have a feeling that even the Cookie Monster himself would be able to resist those things.
Out of tune: We can understand Beiste’s embarrassment about having to pay for all of those delivery pizzas. Not even the main character in 'Eat Pray Love' ate that much pizza.
Who's ruling the school, and who's hitting sour notes? We rank the major players of Glee based on how they did in this week’s episode to see who's on top in our weekly Power Rankings! Let the countdown begin!
High note: Finn discovers Sam while he’s singing in the shower, which makes us wonder if anyone on this show even knows what a shower is typically used for. In fact, there hasn’t been a shower scene with this little regard for hygiene since the one in 'Psycho'.
Out of tune: Has Finn really sunk so low as to try out for the Cheerios? You don’t exactly have to be Len Goodman to know that Finn isn’t much of a dancer.
High note: Not a great week for our girl, but we expect her to bounce back. For example, it can’t be long before she seduces the new guy Sam, right?
Out of tune: With her bitchy persona and newly fake boobs, it seems like Santana might be following a little too closely on the Heidi Montag path to success.
High note: It’s nice that Finn had his back, even though Artie’s stint as a football hero wasn’t meant to be. But just because he can’t play on the field like a football star, doesn’t mean that he can’t do other things that football stars do. Maybe he can have his own VH1 dating show like Chad Ochocinco? Or his own barbecue sauce like Refrigerator Perry?
Out of tune: Artie really is a mess after Tina leaves him for Mike and his amazing abs. Of course, now that Mike knows how much Tina likes guys with great abs, we would advise that Mike keep Tina far away from any bar in the state of New Jersey; you never know when The Situation will show up, ready to lift up his shirt at a moment’s notice.