It was another stellar, quip-heavy episode from Regionals judge Sue this week, whether she was comparing Will's hair to a briar patch full of racist Disney characters, or telling Schue about some crazy dream of hers involving "pink monkey butts." (A joke about "pink monkey butts"? Okay, so no one ever said this show's sense of humor resembled that of Oscar Wilde or anything.)
We've certainly heard plenty of hair quips this season, but we can support their return if they're as strong as tonight's was. (In other words, the return of something is acceptable as long as it's something that we enjoyed in the first place; the reunited New Kids on the Block could take a hint from that.)
Emma is back as well, informing Will that she's now seeing her dentist. Of course, that doesn't prevent Schue from expressing his feelings for her, and by the end of the episode he's professing his love and kissing her. Guess it sucks to be Emma's dentist! (In fact, he just might be the most-hated dentist since the one who tortured Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.)
If you couldn't have guessed from the episode's title (there's a reason they didn't call the episode "Quiet Riot"), we got a lot from the eponymous, often-falsetto-voiced '80s group. New Directions performs a Journey medley, but not before we get another "I love you" — this time, from Finn to Rachel. Looks like it might be time for her to pull the "Team Finn" T-shirts from out of the back of the closet! (And after Sopranos and now Glee, what's with send-off episodes using "Dont Stop Believin"'? We should feel relieved that the characters in the Lost finale didn't find Stephen Perry down some hatch somewhere in the last scene and end up listening to him serenade them over the final credits.)
The group gets an unexpected audience member in the form of Quinn's mom, who finds Quinn after the performance and tells her that she misses her and has kicked out Quinn's dad. We see Quinn go into labor as Rachel watches Jesse and Vocal Adrenaline perform "Bohemian Rhapsody," and for a while, it's hard to tell whether Quinn or Rachel is in more pain. At least Quinn gets to yell "You suck!" at Puck, something that we know Rachel would love to yell at Jesse.
We loved a lot of things about the Regionals performance, but perhaps nothing more than seeing Artie all dressed up and with fancy hair, reminding us of when Urkel magically turned into his suave alter ego Stefan on Family Matters. (Additionally, we also get a performance from some group called Aural Intensity, which forces us to ask: What's with all the double entendre in the vocal groups names? Do we really need a group with a word sounding like "oral" in the name, after we're already trying to not tell ourselves that the kids in glee aren't saying "Nude Erections"? We know — you're impressed by our maturity.)
After the performances, Sue joins her fellow judges, which includes return guests Josh Groban and Olivia Newton-John reprising the hilariously trumped-up versions of themselves (although thankfully, we didn't have to witness another awkwardly out-of-place duet between Sue and Olivia, a la "Physical.") Sue assumes that she can dominate the other judges, but they turn on her, and she realizes that she doesn't hate New Directions nearly as much as she hates the other celebrity judges. It reminds us of when we realized that the movie Legally Blonde wasn't so bad once someone forced us to sit through the sequel, Legally Blonde: Red, White, and Pink, and we understand how bad it could have been.
And just when it looks like all hope is lost, with New Directions having failed to place at Regionals, Sue tells Schue that she's forced Figgins to give glee another year at the school. Plus, we see that Sue indeed voted for New Directions for first place. All together now: Awww! It looks like Sue and Schue have found a way to put their differences behind each other, just like Yasser Arafat and Yitzhak Rabin... or like the women on The View.
We even have time for one final surprise, as Shelby is seen adopting Quinn's baby, Beth. And sure, we love this twist, but we couldn't help but wonder if this is really how adoption works. (Read: It's not how adoption really works.) Since when is adoption based on a "first come, first served" policy? It's as though this hospital is now giving away babies the way a Greyhound bus divies up its seats.
So we've come to the end of a stellar year. What could make next year even better? Maybe a New Kids on the Block song? Sure, why not?! So do your best to hang on for three Glee-free months and we'll be back again in September! And watching Season 2 will be as amazing as ever... just about as amazing as putting cheese on french fries. Okay, even better!