In fact, most of the episode was not maudlin but in fact mirthful, as our heroes had anesthesia-induced fantasies of themselves singing Britney songs. And Britney herself even showed up in a few scenes, as we heard her tell the characters to try eating pizza with ranch dressing. (What — you thought she was going to be explaining why she found the new Jonathan Franzen novel to not be worthy of the hype?)
There's no denying that tonight’s episode had more dream sequences than Avatar, or at least more than a Dilbert cartoon. (Seriously — how many times in that comic strip does someone’s head have to explode as a side effect of filling out too much paperwork? That almost never happens in real life.) But on Glee, it was all due to John Stamos’ dentist character, Carl, who steps in when he realizes that the kids in New Directions care as much about their teeth as Clint Eastwood’s character cares about getting to know people who are different from him in... uh, basically every Clint Eastwood movie ever made.
Carl also butted heads with Will over Emma and explained that Will could never get Emma because he’s not spontaneous enough. Carl then encouraged Will to lighten up by eating more candy, although one senses that an ulterior motive behind the candy might have been the chance to drum up more business; a dentist giving out free candy is sorta like a brain surgeon giving out free motorcycles.
Perhaps the biggest surprise tonight was that the show finally put the character Brittany in the spotlight, giving her two Britney songs (not to mention one python), and — lo and behold — a last name. We loved all the Brittany S. Pierce lines!
Also, we later see Rachel causing a stir in the hallway by strutting around in the schoolgirl outfit from the original “...Baby One More Time” video, which made us feel like it was 1999 all over again. In fact, it was so effective in recreating 1999 for us that it made us want to throw on some corduroy pants, crank up “No Scrubs” by TLC, and watch The Sixth Sense even though our stupid friend ruined the stupid ending for us. (But at least we don’t hold grudges or anything.)
Of course, we're still holding out hope that Emma and Will could rekindle things, since we hear Emma tell Will that he’s the best teacher at the school. Then again, given how lax the academics seem to be at this school, picking the best teacher is kinda like picking the best movie that Cuba Gooding, Jr. made after Jerry Maguire. Translation: There’s not much to choose from. (Okay, fine — we know what you were going to say. You were going to say, “You know, Snow Dogs wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be.” And we agree. We didn’t mean to be so hard on Cuba Gooding, Jr. But you don't have to make us feel like jerks about it!)
All told, we thought tonight’s episode was a blast, and even packed a surprising emotional punch. Then again, we might not be the most discerning judges when it comes to what makes us emotional. In fact, we just got choked up after watching that Snickers commercial where Betty White gets pushed to the ground. Why are people so mean sometimes?