Glee is finally back from hiatus — and we only had to endure a nine-hour NFL game to get to it! But the show isn't the only thing that's back on: Finn and Quinn appear to have rekindled their romance. Say what?! Finn and Quinn as a couple is one of those things we assumed had been long forgotten... much like the band Hoobastank.
The football-centic episode opens on Sue's Cheerios dancing to "California Gurls" in an elaborate number involving flame-spewing bras and more bikes than a Lance Armstong fever dream. Sue, who is observing the action, decides she’s bored with her choreography. Her solution? Shoot someone out of cannon. Luckily, she chooses Brittany to be her human cannon ball, because a massive head wound wouldn't dramatically impact the slow-witted Cheerio's daily life.
We discover — and we hope you're sitting down — that McKinley’s football team is having a respectable season! (In other words, the Detroit Lions have absolutely nothing in common with them.) But Finn is still getting flak from Karofsky for being in glee. Heck — if NFL linebacker Jason Taylor can appear on Dancing With the Stars, one would assume doing glee club would be small potatoes.
To quell the tension between the two groups, Schue suggests the football team join glee, which is kinda like negotiating a compromise between Republicans and Democrats, or a truce between Team Edward and Team Jacob. In other words: Best of luck!
In the meantime, Sue forces the Cheerios to quit glee, and Karofsky — despite receiving praise from Schue — encourages the non-glee football players to quit the team. (Damn you, hockey team!) Looks like it's time for the glee girls to show their mettle on the football field. Go, Tina, go!
Thanks to Finn and Puck — with Sam as QB — Santana, Brittany, and Quinn perform again with glee, and the football players rejoin the team to help them earn the victory. Evidently, Finn and Puck are better at brokering peace than Jimmy Carter. Even better? New Directions' halftime show is a knockout performance of "Thriller" and "Heads Will Roll," complete with full zombie makeup that would make George Romero proud.
In true form, Ryan Murphy saves the biggest surprises for the very end. Guest star Katie Couric interviews Sue about being the year's biggest loser (she beats out Dina Lohan's dog — ouch!), and Sue discovers that the rest of her budget is going to Schue. Plus, Quinn kisses Finn. Looks like the Sam-Finn rivalry is only just beginning!
So, are you on Team Sam or Team Finn? And you thought choosing between Edward and Jacob was tough...