5. Rikki Lake has a lot of gifts, too.
Beiste: She put being husky to good use.
Brittany: Was her name Rikki Lake?
4. You’re gonna need a smaller envelope.
Brittany: You need to write your letter to Santa very fast and get it in the mail today. And remember: Even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.
3. Sue knows just how to prevent things from getting too mushy.
Will: I thought you hated the holidays.
Sue: Nah, I just hate you.
2. Greatest Santa scene ever!
Mercedes (on Santa’s lap): I’ve been a very good girl, Santa. I want a pony, and a doll that laughs and cries, and... one of us smells like McDonald’s.
Lauren: I would like Puckerman to love me — he’s a fox. I would also like sweet potato fries.
Santana: I want bling; I can’t be any more specific than that. Okay, wait — hold up! Please tell me that is a roll of Certs in your pocket.
Quinn: Do you have anything for stretchmarks?
Sam: Chapstick. Lots of chapstick.
Mike: I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.
Tina: When does Asian Santa arrive?
1. Brittany emancipates the elves.
Brittany: Can I be honest? I don’t understand the difference between an elf and a slave.
10. Sue loves exercise, and she loves shaking things.
Will: Can you believe it? Six different people got Sue a Shake Weight.
9. We’re surprised it took Sue this long to compare Will to a Chia pet!
Sue: I thought you might want to put all of us out of our misery and shave off that Chia pet.
8. Artie has to stop fighting the inevitable.
Brittany: Last year, I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation, and an entire family of mice started living in it. Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.
Artie: I told my parents that I only want one thing this year: Stop friend-requesting me on Facebook.
7. Honest mistake.
Brittany (about Artie’s ReWalk): I thought it was a Transformer.
6. Emma is a little chaste, it’s true.
Sue (to Emma): You’re a regular Agatha Christie, except even more sexless.