10. Couldn’t we all use a chaperone at times?
Santana: Someone's gotta look out for Brittany. I mean, that special place where she lives? Sure, it's beautiful, but someone's got to help her across the street.
9. No head (hairless or otherwise) is safe from Sue’s wrath!
Sue [to Burt]: You might want to sneak a handful of Will Schuester's patented butter-flavored follicle cream. Put some on your melon. That way you don't have to keep wearing those baseball caps that are fooling absolutely no one.
8. Could this be the most insightful thing Finn has ever said?
Finn: In America, dudes don’t ask dudes to be their friends — except on Facebook, but even then it can take years.
7. We’re guessing this is one movie that Jennifer Aniston leaves off her resume.
Santana [to Rory]: Here’s what’s gonna go down. Leprechaun, starring a young Jen Aniston, is my favorite movie. I learned me two things: 1.) Leprechauns like fixing shoe buckles because they’re gay. And 2.) They grant wishes. You’re going to grant me a wish.
6. Sweets Gone Wild!
Santana: I wanna talk about the thing that we never talk about.
Brittany: What? That Sour Patch Kids are just Gummy Bears that turned to drugs?
5. Hey — any place is more exotic than Lima, Ohio!
Puck [about cougars]: That sun-kissed, leathery skin means that they’ve done the nasty in all sorts of exotic places, like Florida or New Mexico.
4. Welcome to America, Damian McGinty.
Brittany [to Rory]: You look magical and amazing, but I don't understand what you're saying. So if you're gonna make it in this world, you better learn to speak English.
3. Does that make Santana her Tom Cruise?
Finn [about Brittany]: [S]he’s kinda like Rain Man with boobs.
2. “Cheese Grits” is actually a term of endearment where Sue’s from.
Sue [to Burt]: Hold on there, Cheese Grits. You mess with me, I will Temple of Doom my way through your chest and pull out your still-pumping artificial heart, which I will then hook up to my car to power us down to the lumber jack convention for some deep discounts on the midwest's largest selection of ill-fitting flannel.
1. Could she have just said, “Send him in a ‘New Direction’”?
Santana [to Finn]: You are such a bacon-wrapped bug-eyed hypocrite. It's friggin' hilarious how jealous of Blaine you are. Every time he opens his dreamboat acappella mouth, you're just itching to kick him right in the Warblers.
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