The newest episode of Glee did not disappoint, especially with all that talk about S-E-X. (Yeah, Parents Television Council, deal with it.) If we could, we'd totally give the Glee writers a hug because they were so on point. Here are our picks for the top 10 quotes from Season 3, Episode 5: “The First Time.”
10. Everybody wins!
Rachel [to Finn]: A People's Choice award would have gotten you to third base.
9. So. Many. Layers.
Blaine [to Kurt]: And besides, tearing off all of your clothes is sort of a tall order.
8. A “teenage dream” to be exact
Sebastian, new Warbler: I was like, “I don’t know who this Blaine guy is, but apparently he’s sex on a stick and sings like a dream.”
7. Who turns down free Applebee’s?
Cooter, football recruiter [about Beiste]: Last week, I told her I had a gift certificate for Applebee’s — she told me fancy restaurants make her nervous.
6. And he’s smarter than the average football player
Karofsky: I’m what they call a “bear cub.”
Kurt: Because you look like Yogi?
5. Extraterrestrial life forms have needs, too.
Brittany: I lost my virginity at cheer leading camp. He just climbed into my tent. Alien invasion.
4. Hmm, Taylor Lautner vs. Darren Criss — tough call!
Kurt [to Blaine, on his bucket list]: And Number 5, alright, this one’s really embarrassing, I wrote this before I met you: “Have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Taylor Lautner before he gets fat.”
3. Brittany doesn’t sweat the small stuff
Artie: I remember my first time with Brittany — the excitement, the way it made me feel like a man... even though she called me the wrong name like four times, during and after.
2. Not exactly a foolproof strategy
Puck: As for the condoms — no idea, never used ‘em. It’s worked out for me about 99% of the time.
1. Ahh, the stuff that romance novels are made of
Santana [to Rachel, on sleeping with Finn]: It was like being smothered by a sweaty, out-of-breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray.
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