When it came to funny lines and witty quips, the newest episode of Glee did not disappoint. Here are our picks for the top 10 quotes from Season 4, Episode 1: “The New Rachel.”
10. Popular people can’t be bothered with minor details.
Brittany (Heather Morris): I was always popular, but I do forget to wear underwear sometimes.
9. This is actually a compliment in Sue’s world.
Sue (Jane Lynch) [to Kurt (Chris Colfer)]: You know it used to be that just straight ex-football players would lurk the halls of high schools after graduation? But you've proven that gay ex-show choir champs can also be depressive sad sacks desperately clinging to the past.
8. Let’s hope that Kurt doesn’t base too many of his life lessons on Pretty Woman.
Burt (Mike O’Malley): Good enough for Pretty Woman, good enough for Kurt Hummel.
7. We’re guessing Brit kissed the computer screen a lot before realizing it was just a picture of Santana.
Brittany: It’s hard making out over Skype. You can’t really scissor a webcam.
6. Let’s just say it’s good that Cassandra doesn’t teach geography.
Cassandra (Kate Hudson): Ohio is like a giant turd that Michigan just can’t pinch off.
5. This is about as sensitive as Brittany gets.
Brittany: Well, maybe she has, like, a medical condition, or she swallowed someone with a medical condition.
4. If Sue misses Quinn, she has a funny way of showing it.
Sue: Kitty is my new head bitch. She’s like a young Quinn Fabray, except she’s not pregnant, manic-depressive, or in and out of a wheelchair.
3. Brittany will be organizing a funeral for that song any day now.
Brittany: I had a song in my heart, Blaine Warbler, and you killed it. Now I have a dead song in my heart, and pretty soon the corpse of my dead heart song is going to start to smell.
2. Kitty kinda makes us want to throw a TV at her, a la Precious’ mom.
Kitty (Becca Tobin): We could handle gimpy and the tarantula head and Richie Poor because you guys were national champs like us, but our invitation was not extended to pre-op Precious based on the novel Barf by Sapphire, and Mike and Molly’s daughter, as a part of our crew.
1. Brittany thinks Mercedes is trying to sneak back into New Directions, Tootsie-style.
Brittany [to Unique (Alex Newell)]: That's a great haircut, Mercedes — I thought you graduated.
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