The newest episode of Glee did not disappoint. If we could, we'd totally give the Glee writers a hug because they were so on point — but nothing more than that, we promise! Anyway, here are our picks for the top 10 quotes from Season 3, Episode 11: “Michael.”
10. Talk about false advertising.
Puck (Mark Salling): This is what we call taking the high road, which I was shocked to find out has nothing to do with marijuana.
9. Hey, why not. Who doesn’t like free candy?
Sebastian (Grant Gustin): But if you had a pinata you wanted delivered, I bet he could make sure that got to them.
8. Need to hide your top secret tape recorder? Just ask Santana.
Santana (Naya Rivera): This isn’t violent. This is clever. I taped it to my underboob.
7. At Dalton, they probably pipe in fancier air from Europe or something.
Sebastian: Is whatever this is going to take long? I can’t stand the stench of public schools.
6. Brittany (Heather Morris) hasn’t gotten around to reading the instruction manual for the door knob.
Brittany [about locking the door]: I don’t know how to do that.
5. Are there that many songs about taping stuff to your junk?
Santana: If Kurt would have taped this to his junk, I would have never heard the end of it — we would have had a whole week of songs about it. [Editor’s note: See what we mean?]
4. Santana is big on using tattoos as a weapon.
Santana: Today is your lucky day, because Auntie Snicks just arrived on the Bitch Town Express. Now, my suggestion is that we drag him bound and gagged to a tattoo parlor for a tramp stamp that reads, “Tips appreciated,” or “Congratulations — you’re my thousandth customer.”
3. Apparently, Puck thinks Blaine comes with hollandaise sauce and an English muffin.
Puck: Dude, you told them what we were gonna do — you’re like a modern-day eggs benedict.
2. Kurt (Chris Colfer) is fabulous no matter what he’s wearing.
Sebastian: Hey, Kurt — I didn’t recognize you. You are wearing boy clothes for once.
1. Does that mean that Santana is Bitchy Smurf?
Santana [to Kurt]: You know what, Prancy Smurf? I respect that — I wanna go to a college that isn’t a FEMA trailer in a prison yard, so let’s take the high road.