Apparently, we have a lot to learn when it comes to sex. At least, that’s what one would believe after watching how a few of our favorite Glee characters lost their virginities on this week’s Season 3, Episode 5, “The First Time.” And since we’re always game for a little self-improvement, here are the five sex-related life lessons from the episode that we think we can all benefit from. You’re welcome.
1. No shirt. No socks. No sex.
Judging from the fact that none of the characters (three of whom were guys!) took their tops off to do the deed, we’re starting to wonder if the show even realizes that nudity is often a key component of sex. (Heck, Finn was practically dressed for church while in bed with Rachel.) And don’t even get us started about those socks that were worn during the act! Unacceptable!
2. A fireplace isn’t cliche at all.
Did you think that having sex in front of a fireplace was sorta lame, and that it’s the kind of thing that only happens in romance novels or in Smokey the Bear’s nightmares? Well, apparently, Finn and Rachel disagree. And you’d think with all that heat from the fire, someone would feel the need to take their shirt off (see: #1).
3. Guys are very concerned with why you want to sleep with them.
Wait, what? That doesn’t sound right. But according to Glee, guys will put off sleeping with you until you’ve answered a bunch of questions about why exactly you want to hook up with him. Like Finn grilling Rachel about why she feels differently about sex than she did a year or two ago? Totally normal. And here you thought “let’s talk” was the opposite of an aphrodisiac.
4. Sex should be used to help your career.
Did you think that sleeping with someone to get ahead in life was only an option once you enter the real world? Not true, as Rachel tries to use it to become a better actress, per Artie’s suggestion, in McKinley’s High’s West Side Story. We should really just be relieved Oedipus Rex wasn’t in the running for the school’s production.
5. People’s parents are always gone when you need them to be.
It was quite convenient that both Finn and Blaine’s parents just happened to be completely out of the way whenever the kids got that itch. Does Lima, Ohio really have that big of a parent social scene?
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