We have written the recaps, analyzed the holes, addressed the elephants in the room, and otherwise shaken all the things out of Gossip Girl’s Season 6 series finale. But just in case you have the attention span of a child recently weaned off his amphetamines, here’s the shortest roundup we can get you. Ten things that happened that matter:
- Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meester) got married. In a public park.
- Serena (Blake Lively) forgave Dan (Penn Badgley) for being a total dick, and then married him five years later. In Chuck and Blair’s house.
- Dan is Gossip Girl. He published the story about how it all happened in The Spectator.
- Nate (Chace Crawford) made enough money to have a jet because of #4, and five years down the line he’s running for mayor.
- More importantly, no more Sage.
- Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg) and Jack (Desmond Harrington) totally hook up 5 years later.
- Rufus (Matthew Settle) ends up attending Derena’s wedding with Lisa Loeb.
- William van der Woodsen screws over Ivy (Kaylee DeFer) and ends up with Lily (Kelly Rutherford).
- Jenny (Taylor Momsen) works as a designer at Waldorf Designs.
- Oh yeah, Chuck and Blair have the CUTEST SON EVER. His name is Henry.