Listen up, Gossipettes! We witnessed yet another week of lies and deceit. But how else would the super-rushed grand opening of Chuck’s new speakeasy play out? In case you missed this week’s drama because you were too busy Googling coupon codes for a pair of Jessica Simpson boots, here’s your cheat sheet for everything deemed worth recapping.The Good:
Old habits die hard, and apparently trick-or-treating Brooklyn-style is a tradition Rufus isn’t willing to give up. The newly domestic Lily agrees to trade gallivanting with their underage children at the flapper-themed party for Chuck’s new club in exchange for paying Mr. Dorota to send kiddies to their door for candy—all in an effort to keep her pumpkin-carving, Ramones-costume-wearing husband happy.The Bad:
Is that another Dan Humphrey sex scandal we smell brewing? Eeh, sorta. Thanks to Nate, oblivious-to-the-blogs Dan sees Olivia’s steamy sex scene with on-and-off-screen ex-boyfriend Patrick (who plays a vampire with a bite that leads to levitating orgasms!). When the real O finds out Dan saw the flick, she confesses that her relationship with Patrick was purely a publicity stunt. And once she broke his poor heart, his career tanked, too. Oops.And The Just Plain Sinful:
In a rush to get his club open in time for Halloween—a mere day away—Chuck hires Serena as his publicist, but with the warning to keep Blair out of the planning. Now would our beloved B ever sit back and let others run what will be dubbed “the party of the year”? We didn’t think so either. B stirs up old ghosts when she reaches out to dear Uncle Jack for a snappy liquor license. But a drop of the Jack Bass name while hand-receiving his license puts Chuck hot on Blair’s trail, and he revokes her invite. The bigger stab comes when Serena stands by Chuck’s side and continues planning a party that will hopefully put her in the good graces of super-bitch boss KC—who wants “on-again-as-far-as-press-is-concerned” couple Olivia and Patrick photographed walking the red carpet to Chuck’s bash together…and Dan going in the back door.
When Dorota gives an exiled Blair flowers delivered for her, the note shows they’re not from the Bass she expected. Seems Uncle Jack is still up to his evil plots and Chuck’s club is operating under a phony license. Blair changes into the flapper dress Chuck gave her and rushes to warn him, but alas, Chuck isn’t one to be fooled and already called the police—the same scheme B had in mind. When the men in blue arrive, the bottles of booze are confiscated as the paparazzi wait outside to snap photos of Serena’s exiting client list. Looks like S needs to think fast, so she treats the gossip blogs by tricking Dan and Olivia into kissing in front of the bright lights—moments after Olivia admits to for-real dating Patrick. When asked who P’s now dating, Serena volunteers for the job and goes in for a dramatic kiss. The only obstacle now facing S is ending her frienemyship with Blair, who finally crossed the line by putting Serena’s rep for professionalism on the line.