Now, we don’t know about you, but we can’t actually shop for Gossip Girl-caliber Christmas gifts, since if any of them got a gift worth under $1000 they’d probably faint.

But we’ve got a few Serenas and Dans and Chucks on our Christmas list — their middle class equivalents, anyhow — so here’s a few ways to get Upper East Side prezzies on a Brooklyn budget. And by this, we mean the real, poverty-stricken, starving-artist Brooklyn, not GG’s fancy bourgeois Brooklyn. (Ahem, Humphreys).

Serena van der Woodsen

Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW 2011 The CW Network Photo: Serena van der Woodsen is Back in NYC in Gossip Girl Season 5, Episode 4: “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan”

Her perfect gift: Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men and Avoiding the Wrong Ones

Yes, it is the height of passive-aggressiveness to buy someone a self-help book for Christmas. But if you have a Serena (Blake Lively) next to you round the Christmas tree, you know she probably brought a circus acrobat home because he’s “so sensitive,” and if this inspires her to give him the side-eye, isn’t that a small price to pay?

Blair Waldorf

Credit: Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images Photo: Pretty in Pink: Blair Waldorf Sparkles in NYC

Her perfect gift: an Alexis Bittar necklace

If you have a Blair (Leighton Meester) on your list, you know that she doesn’t care how bad the economy is — only the best will do. But what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Alexis Bittar is a bona fide fancy-shmancy jewelry designer who also happens to throw some of the steepest sample sales in New York City. Don’t live in New York City? Well, you probably don’t have a Blair on your list, then.

Dan Humphrey

Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW 2011 The CW Network Photo: Dan Humphrey in Gossip Girl Season 5, Episode 4: “Memoirs of an Invisible Dan”

His perfect gift: Pens

Here’s a little known fact about writers: They don’t like fancy notebooks. Most of them go through notebooks so fast they prefer $1.99 comp books — those yuppie Moleskine notebooks are better for looking sensitive on the subway than actually writing in. A good pen, on the other hand, can take you far. Lonely Boy would adore a nice fountain pen. Of course he also likes looking sensitive on the subway, so maybe throw in a couple of (discount) Moleskines, too.

Chuck Bass

Credit: Michael Desmond/The CW 2011 The CW Network Photo: Chuck, Nate and Serena in the Gossip Girl Season 5 Premiere, “Yes Than Zero”

CHis perfect giftWhiskey

The nice thing about booze is that when it’s good, it’s good. And when it’s not good, it still solidly gets the job done. A nice bottle of scotch can be found for around $50. Chuckles may pretend to turn up his nose, but wait till the next time Blair dumps him. No one cares about price tag on a bender. Merry Christmas, Chuck!

Nate Archibald

His perfect gift: Rock climbing gift certificate

For the sports fan on your list, why not let them burn off that excess energy by climbing straight up a wall? Our concern with Nate (Chace Crawford) would be that he’s not bright enough to find his way down again, but we suppose they have instructors for that. Or Grandpa Van der Bilt could send a helicopter.

Ivy Dickens

Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW 2011 The CW Network Photo: Ivy Enjoys Her Party in Gossip Girl Season 5, Episode 10: “Riding in Town Cars With Boys”

Her perfect gift: DVD of Catch Me If You Can

For Ivy (Kaylee DeFer), we’re thinking a DVD Leonardo DiCaprio’s Catch Me If You Can.The movie tells the story of a young grifter who uses his charisma and acting chops to change his identity and infiltrate high society. We feel like she could relate.

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