Gossip Girl

Last night’s ep of Gossip Girl was action-packed to say the least, and it left us wondering so many things ― Georgina, seriously? ― chief among them… WHERE IS DAIR HEADED?! So far we have but 21 seconds of hints, but we’re taking it for all it’s worth!

Here’s our frame-by-frame analysis of the promo for February 6’s all-new ep, “The Backup Dan.”

Scene #1
Ah yes, we start with the face of (Real) Charlie the Caterer ― how’s that for coincidence, ehhh? ― who asks the obvious: “The princess is a runaway bride?” Blair (Leighton Meester)’s pals look on in horror. Side note: How dumb is everyone going to feel when someone is finally like, “OH and BTW, that cater-waiter is your cousin, Serena.” Face-palm.

Scenes #2 & #3
Blair runs! And runs! Runs some moreee!

Scene #4
Serena (Blake Lively) demands to know B’s whereabouts of... somebody on the other end of her phone. (Dan?)

Scene #5
Eleanor demands to know B’s whereabouts of… who is that? RUFUS? Oh, good one, yeah Rufus probably does know. But will he TELL her? Good thing those Humphreys are so tight…

Scene #6
GG goes cheeky with some title shots demanding, “Where in the World Can Blair Waldorf Be?” And we are officially already huge fans of this episode. We love when GG gets to have a little fun.

Scene #7
Blair holds up a newspaper clip of her face as gawkers look on in the airport. More importantly: HANG ON, IS THAT A HOODED SWEATSHIRT?! Now we know for suresies that Dair is happening… Blair Waldorf is eschewing all fashion-based pretense!! Or she’s in hiding, but whatever. We’re just dying to know if there are UGGs in play here.

Scene #8
Blair says, “Everyone is staring!” to which we really hope Dan responds, “UM DUH YOU’RE WEARING A TIARA IN AN AIRPORT,” to which we really hope a gawker responds, “Omfg, is that custom-made Vera Wang?!” Duh, B… go find your UGGs.

Scene #9
Watch as this young princess-worshipper’s face goes from hero-to-zero in the span of about two seconds. She asks, “Are you the Princess of Monaco?” and B grabs Dan’s arm ― squeeee ― and says “We’re decoys!” Cue incredulous face and then, BLOW OF BLOWS, the remark, “You’re not as pretty as Blair Waldorf… and he’s terrible.” Excuse us, we have a young girl to slap. (But seriously, WTF, royal or no, Louis ain’t no stud-muffin, girl!)

In other words: February 6, we’re ready for you!

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