Quick! We don’t have a lot of time! We only have two more episodes left in this hopefully-not-final season of Gossip Girl — so let’s dive right into dissecting this promo for May 7th’s Season 5, Episode 23, “The Fugitives,” shall we?
Scene 1: Dan + Blair + Summer = Italy?
Apparently, Dan (Penn Badgley) is taking further measures to make sure Chuck (Ed Westwick) is not a threat to his relationship with Blair (Leighton Meester). Does his offer for B to join him in Rome mean that he’s going to reconsider taking that writing fellowship he (stupidly? wisely? — you tell us!) gave up in the previous ep, “Raiders of the Lost Art.” And what if she says no? Will he go anyway? He may considering his “I Love You” declaration at ep’s end was practically dismissed by his girlfriend.
Scene 2: Chuck and Diana-like Woman
Though we can only see the back of the woman whose hand Chuck is shaking, the body-con dress and long dark locks just scream Diana Payne (Elizabeth Hurley). Does that mean that after Episode 22’s big Bass reveal, Diana is teaming up with Chuck to help with his “vendetta”? Now that Bart’s secret is no longer a secret, it could be that Uncle Jack (Desmond Harrington) and Bart have no use for Diana (who recently just doubled her fee)... so it only makes sense she shop her professional scheming skills elsewhere.
Scene 3: Blair, Lola... and Ivy?
Ivy returns after being MIA in the last ep... and she and Lola are super sexed up. Blair hands them some handcuffs which means... they’re going on an undercover mission as high-end hookers? Or did we already get our fill of the high-end hooker storyline in this week’s ep. Oh well! Seeing as Blair and Chuck are teaming up again (see: Scene 4), we can only assume that Lola and Ivy have been recruited to catch the elder Basses (Jack and Bart, in case you’re losing track) in their web o’ lies.
Scene 4: Chuck needs Blair (again!)
And she allows him to need her (again!)... although it isn’t explicitly stated what for. Chuck asks Blair if there’s anywhere she has to be and she says no. But...
Scene 5: What about Dan?
From Dan’s confused reaction to Blair’s MIA status, being with her boyfriend may have been something she was supposed to consider before stepping into Chuck’s limo. But, uh, too late! With no more Gossip Girl-ing to keep her busy, Serena (happily?) spills the beans that Blair is with Chuck and Dan is none too pleased. Insert: Dan sadface.
(Aaaaand Serena continues to suck as a friend.)