Applause to the Gossip Girl writers: Snappy lines are the main reason we tune in each week. Keep the Bassness coming!
10. Rufus has a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy on schemes
Rufus (Matthew Settle): Hey, Serena. And — Vanessa. I’m not even going to ask.
9. Truer words were never spoken
Chuck (Ed Westwick): I thought I’d bring some luxury across the river. Brooklyn needs it. It’s all bars, bakeries, and babies.
8. Like much else in Blair’s life, that putdown was awesome
Eleanor (Margaret Colin): You’ll be back in time for the engagement party, I hope?
Blair (Leighton Meester): Or not. I’d actually like to be engaged when it’s over.
Serena (Blake Lively): Blair, I’m sorry I sent those blasts to Louis’s mother. But everything worked out great. So can we just enjoy it and move on, please?
Blair: Like much else in your life, that apology was underwhelming.
7. Jack wastes no time
Jack (Desmond Harrington): Your father and I go way back. Which won’t stop me from inviting you to have this little chat somewhere more comfortable, like your hotel room.
Raina (Tika Sumpter): I see the Bass family resemblance.
6. She’ll have to stick with Minion of Honor
Serena: All I ever wanted for you was true love, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.
Blair: Well, it’s not as though I haven’t done my share of subversion. Penelope would have gotten far too much satisfaction out of being the maid of honor.
5. Poor little Nate (Chace Crawford)
Jack: Raina’s proposal suits me fine. It’s just — your daughter’s history with Chuck, Nate Archibald crashing our meeting looking like he just ran away from home — the whole thing feels messy.
Blair: I’ve lost my appetite.
Cyrus (Wallace Shawn): How can that be? You’re returning to your alma mater as a princess bride-to-be!
3. Don’t let Chuck cook you dinner.
Jack: Can we just call the cops? I’m hungry and all you seem to have are olives and hallucinogenic mushrooms.
2. The Blair Waldorf Crumb-Throwing Foundation
Princess Sophie: Perhaps I judged you too harshly. Cyrus has told me of your job at W and your straight-A average, all while dedicating yourself to avian welfare.
Cyrus: You would never let a duck go hungry.
1. You date one elephant trainer...
Jack: I’m counting on you not to defile the Bass name and to lose her to a family of titled circus performers.
For more from “Shattered Bass”:
Recap: The Truth Comes out in “Shattered Bass”
Get ready for next week’s super-exciting Season 4 finale!
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