It’s all about parents and children this week. Lily will do anything to regain Serena’s respect. Ben’s mother sells her soul to save her son. Thorpe’s hatred for Chuck is matched only by his love for his daughter. And the cold hand of Bart Bass‘s evil reaches beyond the grave to once again utterly destroy Chuck. Well, they can’t all be winners. Call your mom and say you love her for not perjuring your boyfriends into jail, and then let’s get down to it.
Chuck is hours away from closing the deal to regain control of Bass Industries. But Thorpe has other plans. First, he alerts Chuck to Nate and Raina’s flirtation, but that’s no more than a warning shot: When an orange jumpsuit arrives for Lily courtesy of her good buddy Russell, she and Chuck realize that Thorpe knows what Lily did to Ben.
And how does Thorpe intend to use hearsay from a drug dealer to make charges stick to Lily? Funny you should ask. There’s another mother visiting the Upper East Side: Ben’s. Ostensibly she’s just there to go all tight-lipped and disapproving whenever Serena’s around, but really she’s been sent by Thorpe to steal the affidavit. Which Serena, brain trust that she is, kept in her sweater drawer. Oh come on, these people don’t deserve to stay out of jail. They didn’t deserve to make it out of high school.
Chuck’s last ditch effort to block Thorpe’s blackmail attempt is an appeal to his better angels — well, his one better angel, Raina. He arranges for her to listen in while Thorpe blackmails Lily, so she can see what kind of a man he really is. Midwestern Raina is catching on quick to the ways of her new home — she storms out with enough self-righteous flouncing to do any Upper East Side girl proud — but Thorpe stands firm. Finally, Lily decides to take blackmail off the table by turning herself in to the police.
Lily heads to the police station to clear Ben’s name. He’s all, “Thx. I dumped your daughter, by the way.” That’s OK, Ben. Serena never stays interested in a guy once there’s no creepy obstacle keeping them apart. Lily’s relieved to get it off her chest, but it seems her legal troubles are just beginning: For reasons so far unknown, CeCe called Lily’s ex William Van Der Woodsen back into town.
A freshly dumped Serena finds Chuck drowning his sorrows at the bar, and together they decide they need to go find their bestie Blair. So, that means we should expect a warm, fuzzy, friendshippy ending, right?