Credit: The CW

Let’s have a real talk moment, guys. Can we all agree that Season 6, Episode 2 “High Infidelity” fell flat? Sure, there was some face punching and a lot of techno music and one dress that is now our fashion unicorn, but isn’t that pretty much all? In “Dirty Rotten Scandals,” there was a lot more action, but does that mean Gossip Girl will continue to be awesome as the series goes on? Let’s take a look at some of the central characters in these episodes and decide which episode had the best versions of them so far.

1) Steven Spence
In “High Infidelity” he sketchily half-truthed Serena (Blake Lively), punched out Nate (Chace Crawford), and showed himself as incapable of dressing in more than one outfit — and that one outfit is distinctly lacking a tie (Seriously, if he’s that hard up, he should not be dating Serena van der Woodsen).

Credit: The CW

In “Dirty Rotten Scandals,” he said amazing things like “I’m going to go contemplate your punishment while I make some tea” and threatened to break up with Serena because he sucks as a parent. In his defense, he did recognize Sage was full of ish and sided with S in the end.

Point: Neither. He is a bad parent and Serena needs to break up with him stat.

2) Serena
In “High Infidelity,” she wore a beautiful royal blue dress while walking with Nate, and then a hideous curtain-y number while hosting an event. To her credit, she called Blair (Leighton Meester) out for being a bad friend and kicked her out of the Gala.

In “Dirty Rotten Scandals,” she must have consumed too much of Steven’s tap water because she was a decidedly weaker version of herself.

Credit: The CW

Point: “High Infidelity.”

3) Blair
In “High Infidelity,” her plotting was amateur, her outfit (she only wore the one hideous afternoon tea at The Apollo-looking thing for most of it) was hard to look at straight on, and did we mention how poorly she schemed? It was not good.

In “Dirty Rotten Scandals,” she was a little damsel in distress, but she made it work for her — mainly by reuniting somewhat with Chuck (Ed Westwick) (albeit a terribly-tressed version of him). She was dismissed by Serena, bamboozled by a 17 year old, and showed some truly hideous clothes. But she ended the night spoon-first with her true love, so there’s that.

Point: “Dirty Rotten Scandals.”

So, what do you think? Are we in trouble as we go down the road toward the end of the Upper East Side? Or was the momentary apocalyptic shark jumping just a fluke? Weigh in below.

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