Credit: Splash News

Gossip Girl's Kristen Bell (aka Dan Humphrey's inner monologue) is expecting her first baby with fiance Dax Shepard, and she couldn't be more pumped! In fact, she loves babies even more than she loves sloths.

Kristen and Dax still haven't revealed the gender of their baby, but no matter what this kid will be off-roading. "Do you have to be a boy to off-road? Absolutely not!" she told Ellen Degeneres on the January 24th episode of Ellen. "I think [Dax]'s going to force [the baby], even if it's a sloth, to off-road."

Sloth-child or not, Kristen isn't going the natural childbirth route. In fact, she wants to be knocked completely unconscious during labor. "I feel like, when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of whiskey," she said. "I want the epidural in my back and I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat and wake me up when it's over because I've seen the videos — and it looks terrifying."

Two words: Mucus plug. If you don't already know what that is, we don't recommend you look it up. Unless you want to be traumatized for the rest of your life.

Source: Ellen (via Us Weekly)