Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) captivates us constantly with his scorned love and heartbreaking family ish on Gossip Girl. So, we were surprised that a pretty large portion of the baffling confusion we felt watching Season 6, Episode 9: "The Revengers" were due to his actions. Well, his and his dad’s. Between Chuck’s continued striving to be close to Blair (Leighton Meester) and his feud with Bart... well, here are a couple things that had us gasping for air.
1. Chuck and Bart have a gravelly voice-off
Look, guys, a sexy low voice is one thing, but a battle of the Batman growls is quite another. For the last few seasons, Chuck’s voice has been getting progressively lower and slower and throatier. And while Bart has always had a penchant for the dramatic, he was MIA for so long, we sort of forgot how ridic it sounds to hear him speak for long periods of time. Put two Basses together and it’s all we can do not to join in ourselves.
2. Bart kidnaps Blair
Whoa, guys. If there was anyone we thought was un-kidnap-able (yeah, that’s a thing), it’s Blair Waldorf. We love a little black car adventure as much as the next girl, but usually we don’t end up kidnapped by silver foxes. And what gives, Bart? Would it have been too uncivilized to at least ask the girl to drinks?
3. Dan is totally in on the Chuck thing
We’re going to temporarily ignore the fact that Chuck’s “death” lasted like 2 ½ minutes. (Come on, writers. Talk about phoning in the drama.) But we were still on the “Dan (Penn Badgley) is the devil” train when we found out he was behind the scenes on Bart’s attempted filicide. OMG Dan! WTG! But you’re still a total DB, just FTR.
4. Bart falls off a roof. No biggie.
There aren’t enough exclamation points in the world to express our surprise. Okay, that’s not exactly true, since we knew it was going to happen. The shocking part? How brutally cold Chuck was to let him fall (weigh in on the whole thing here) without so much as a twitch in the direction of saving him. Even more shocking is that Chuck would let Blair witness the brutality of his heart in such a way.
5. The super weird fight-scene music situation.
Throughout its years, GG has featured some truly excellent, groundbreaking artists. Next thought: the music that happened during the Chuck-Bart fight scene. Was that supposed to be an ode to the Star Wars Luke and Darth Vader similarities? Plus the Batman-y growling-influenced superhero of it all? Hello? Anyone? Any clue?