What time is it? Why, it's Episode 21 o'clock, which means it's time for a big game-changing, side-switching, all-hands-on-deck scheme. No splitting up the recap by plotlines this week, since there's only one, so we'll just center things around the big gala where everything goes down.Pre-Gala
Creepy William has wormed his way even further into his family's good graces — especially Serena's. S is now such a daddy's girl that she's shutting Rufus out of the penthouse altogether. But Jenny and Chuck have realized the good doctor's a quack: The pills he gave Lily are for third world parasites, not cancer. (We told you he was treating her for hookworms!)
Meanwhile, things have gone from bad to worse for the Humphreys: Holland from downstairs announces to the whole Van Der Humphrey clan that she slept with Rufus. Nate doesn't buy it, so he and Dan go behind Serena's back to investigate, even as Jenny and Chuck are drafting Blair's scheming talents to help them pry. B has a date with that rugby player from two eps ago, but of course she can't resist a good scheme, and ends up dragging him along like it's Take Your Date To Scandal Day.
The two groups of snoops converge at the office of the doc who prescribed Lily's bogus meds: one Dr. Holland Kemble. Ruh roh!
The scooby gang follows Holland to the gala to try to get her to confess. Of course, Will, Lily, and Serena are there too. Jenny, however, has had a change of heart, and decides she wants Will to steal Lily so the Humphreys can go back to Brooklyn. She thwarts B's plan to expose Holland by sending home the medical board member Nate invited, but B manages to winnow a confession out of Holland anyway.
Seems Dr. Will has been behind Holland's scarf-stealing ways from the beginning, and of course L isn't really sick anymore — he's just been swapping her meds to get close to her. When the jig is up, Jenny goes to Will and tells him to take his family and scoot. He does, calling a helicopter for four.
Rufus confronts Will just as he's trying to herd his family out the door to Palm Beach. Rufus catches up to them and confronts Will and Lily. Eric demands the truth about Lily's illness. Will tries to bluff it out, but ends up pulling the old "Proof? Of course I have proof! It's in my... bag... in the other room. I'll just... go get it..." and then he runs away. Poor dumb Serena believes him till he actually cuts and runs, and then she's devastated — too devastated to forgive Nate for going behind her back, even though he was right.
Serena rushes to the helipad to hear the truth from Will. He admits everything and gets out of town three seconds ahead of the cops. Afterward, S leans on good ol' stepbrother Dan's shoulder. Whoa, looks like these two might be happening again!
Jenny owns up to being Will's volunteer accomplice. Rufus, after making up with Lily, lets J have it. Eric follows suit, basically telling her to get the hell out if she doesn't want to be in their family. She does, taking a suitcase to Chuck's. He's not there, but a Serena-scorned Nate is, and he welcomes Jenny in with a surprisingly hungry gleam in his eye.
Scheme accomplished, B finally departs on her date — but her mind is on anything but rugby. See, minutes before, Chuck gave her an ultimatum: Meet him at the Empire State Building the next day or lose him for good. And Queen B can't take her eyes off the ESB...