Chuck’s plans to turn a vintage bank into a speakeasy are ruined by Serena not once but twice, although only intentionally the second time. He’s stuck in entrepreneurial first gear while his girlfriend is getting a bounced check from reality in the form of dorming with Georgina.
Speaking of the second time, we never really experienced Serena’s mean girl side, but when she brings out the evil she holds nothing back. Not only does she ruin Chuck’s business dealings, but uses Carter as an accessory to her deviousness. Shame, shame, we know your name! Quite frankly, we don't think the bitchiness suits her.
Blair tries to solve her problems the same way she does everything else: by throwing money at it, having a lavish party (sushi, sake, and wasabi facials, no less!), and being a bitch—all while wearing a headband. Unfortunately all the “intellectual” college kids are watching Vanessa’s documentaries and enjoying greasy pizza.
Blair tries to hijack Georgina’s party by inviting some Bible camp cronies, but is ultimately overthrown by Dan, who comes to Georgina’s rescue—whoa, WTF? It's amazing how forgiving Dan is of Georgina, the psychotic sociopath who threatened to ruin his friends' lives. And Vanessa wondering if they were being too harsh on Georgina? Come on V, we're talkin' about a girl who roofied Serena before her SATs. Despite all this, G's meds are all straightened out, so maybe she's got her head screwed on straight this season? Eh, doubtful!
Three cheers for Rufus (is he getting puffy?!) who opts to be Serena and Eric’s Dad (Bob Saget circa Full House) instead of just Lily’s next husband. How "after-school special" of him. Meanwhile, Nate is trapped in the least sexy story line in history that happens to involve being trapped in an apartment with a new lover for 24 hours. Someone do some CPR on this romance before it flatlines!!
After much soul searching, Serena decides to upgrade Carter from bad habit to passionate-face-grabbing-kisser boyfriend. As if that wasn’t unlikely enough, an even odder couple emerged this week. Only one word can describe seeing Georgina popping her head up from Dan’s crotch when he wakes up hungover on the rooftop couch: RUN! (This is made all the weirder by the fact that earlier in the episode Dan met a genuinely cool girl in the form of a competitor/writer/fan named Katie). And our poor, defeated Blair! After realizing she’s stuck in the hell that is a relatively classless society (sans her Great Gatsby–era boyfriend), she takes comfort in his bed, nuzzling against his silk polka dot pajamas. Chair rocks on.
Meanwhile, we’ve heard nothing from the new Queen Bee at Constance.