Hello, dear Gossipettes. This week we’re trading in our red plastic cups at an NYU rooftop party for a swankier shindig. The ballroom in Chuck’s classy new hotel is the hopeful home of Trip Vanderbilt's Congressional victory, but before any champagne can be poured, a political scandal must first bubble over.
Little Miss Popular Olivia makes a late night appearance on Jimmy Fallon (yes, the real JF makes a cameo) and dishes about Dan’s first date mishap when he walked out of the bathroom wearing his shirt inside out. The funny man dubs Dan “Bathroom Boy,” and Olivia tries desperately hard—we’re talking five-hours-of-playing-board-games-with-the-Humphreys hard!—to hide the insult. When Mr. Too Cool and Confident finally sees the video on Jenny's computer, he’s not even fazed by embarrassment on national TV. In fact, he only feels mortified that he dropped the ball on remembering his and Olivia's one-month anniversary! So, what’s a Prince Charming to do? Invite his leading lady to a Brooklyn pad filled with candles. All together now, awww.
Serena vs. Blair catfight number 2,608 is going full throttle. Serena, still bitter about B using her to promote Chuck’s club, calls Blair out for her lack of control in the NYU dorms. This sends Blair into a tailspin to quickly find a comparable bestie to bring to a real political party. As luck would have it, a blonde wearing Valentino and Peter Som walks into her lunch spot at the perfect moment.
An on-the-outs Serena is forced to beg Nate for an invite-plus-one so that she can bring fake boyfriend Patrick to the Vanderbilt gala. Once there, the former BFFs throw their best verbal knockout punches when Serena calls out Blair’s new bud for being a call girl and B gives her the look-in-the-mirror insult for dating a double-fisting Patrick just for a paycheck. Serena seizes an opportunity to plant Blair's face into a red, white, and blue cake, but the harsh words have already hit home and Serena ends up telling boss KC to kiss off via a note attached to a hammered actor, who happens to be her fake boyfriend.
And when things don’t look promising for Trip’s political future, he proves the apple can fall far from the tree when he still refuses to cheat his way to the top. It seems karma’s on his side when a man falls into the Hudson—just hours before the polls close—and Trip becomes the hero of the day. Too bad Vanessa’s camera was rolling at the time and caught the man jumping in on purpose. It looks like a Camp Trip celebration won’t be happening since V’s already agreed to sell the video to a New York news station, so Nate mans up for the family by scamming Vanessa and then blaming the whole ordeal on himself to clear Trip's name.
AND THE JUST PLAIN SINFUL
Once Trip is renamed Congressman Trip, his first order of business is to start building a new Vanderbilt political dynasty--one that will follow a noble path. Who would have thought his sweet, doting, pearl-wearing wife would turn out to be the dastardly mastermind behind miracle-on-the-Hudson 2.0!? You know what they say about the quiet ones! And, just for good measure, she's hell-bent on cutting dear old Grandpa out of the family album for good.