Applause to the Gossip Girl writers: Snappy lines are the main reason we tune in each week. Keep the Bassness coming!
Blair: Mother, you are brilliant. And resilient. And... a businesswoman, and an artist. I'd be crazy not to want to be like you.
Eleanor: Really? But you are not a designer. You are a, um...
Blair: A dictator of taste.
Eleanor: Exactly! I love that. Who said that?
Blair: A friend of mine.
9. You can pull Dan out of Brooklyn, but you can’t pull Brooklyn out of the (lonely) boy
Lily: Dan. This party doesn't seem like your speed.
Dan: Are you kidding. There are actually beers behind the bar I can pronounce.
8. Oh no... that’s just wrong
Serena: And who do we say you are? My son?
Chuck: Is it weird hearing you say that actually turns me on?
Serena: This better be worth the therapy.
7. Looks like prison did Howard’s body good
The Captain (Howard): You gettin' soft kid?
Nate: No, I'm getting bursitis. That was mile nine. Maybe we should head back.
The Captain: I feel like I'm 20 again.
Nate: I am 20 and I feel like I'm going to puke up a lung.
6. Looks like someone’s bitter
Penelope: Do you know how many women would kill to work with your mother?
Blair: Yes. And they're the Jenny Humphreys of the world.
5. We didn’t notice
Serena: I had to pull an Erin Brockovich and go down to the Litchfield County clerk's office to try to get a copy of the case. And how's this for irony...
Blair: Court records are public, so you wore a push-up bra for no reason?
Serena: The case file is sealed because it involved a minor.
4. Ooh la la, round two for Dair?
Blair: Heading home to Brooklyn?
Dan: No, actually. I was gonna catch Monsieur Hulot's Holiday at the Walter Reed. Try to cheer myself up.
Blair: Oh. Well I do enjoy myself some Tati. Although I suppose if you're trying to improve your mood then my coming with you would defeat that purpose.
Dan: It is pretty funny. Even you couldn't kill that much comedy.
Blair: Well I still require you to sit two seats away.
Dan: Works for me. It keeps your paws off my popcorn.
3. Is that some hostility we sense?
Blair: What are you doing here?
Dan: Hello to you too.
2. What’s with this episode and suggestive incest?
The Captain [as he’s playing a video game]: Hey Nate, need one more for a foursome. You in, dude?
Nate [to Chuck, who's on the phone]: That's not what it sounded like. But I should go. Good luck.
Chuck: You too.
1. This is exactly why we love Dair
Blair: I had a horrible fight with my mother. I tried to be Indra Nooyi. And while I admit that choice might have been a bit random, the other choice was to be my mother. And I didn't want that.
Dan: Why not? You care about fashion more than most people care about, ah, well, anything. You used to send girls home crying from Constance for wearing tights as pants.
Blair: Well, somebody had to. It was for the greater good. Just like my suggestion that you take off that tie and shove it in your pocket right now.
Dan: You're an evil dictator of taste, Blair. Why deny that just because it's what your mother does? And by the way, this tie was my grandfather's.
Blair: If only he'd been buried in it.
Gossip Girl Recap: It’s True! The Kids Are NOT All Right
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