10. Blair requires enough caffeine to give an elephant a heart attack
Blair (on phone): Yes, I need four venti lattes with three extra shots. (To Dan) None of which are for you.
Dan (settling in to watch her melt down): Good. I don’t really like refreshments with my theatre.
9. Blair may not be suitable for some audiences
Dan (as Blair melts down): I’m leaving. This just went from Women on the Verge to Saw II. I don’t like horror porn, really.
8. Sage advice from your neighborhood felon
Serena: I agreed to a detente with my mom so I can help plan Eric’s 18th birthday.
Ben: Tell him I say congratulations, and to be careful now that he’s old enough to be tried as an adult.
7. Nate has a pretty nice life
Raina: What would you be doing if I wasn’t here?
Nate: Probably just studying.
Raina: What subjects?
Nate’s got nothing.
Nate: Well, I might be playing a little Black Ops first.
Raina holds up a joint she found in his pocket.
Raina: Would you be doing this too?
Nate: It does make me a better soldier.
6. The Jailhouse Sutra
Blair: Where were you last night?
Serena: At the loft. Just sleeping. It’s been hard to find the time with Dan there and you here. There’s been a lot of buildup.
Blair: A three year stint in the big house? I’d say so.
5. Some people just can’t handle minioning.
Blair: Where are my interns?
W Girl: They put in for transfers. Your management style was a little aggressive. One claims she has PTSD and threatened a lawsuit.
4. Lily gets into character
Chuck: The slap was a nice touch. Oscar-worthy.
Lily: Yes, well, it was surprisingly satisfying.
3. Blair’s sleepless path to greatness
Blair: Great leaders only need three hours of sleep a night. Mine just happen to be non-consecutive.
2. V’s outfits do seem like hallucinations sometimes...
Serena: Did anyone else see Vanessa? Or am I having ether flashbacks?
1. Did Marie Antoinette even have zippers?
(Dorota is dressing Blair)
Serena: I try not to meddle in Dorota’s duties, but don’t you think you’re taking it a little far?
Blair: Marie Antoinette, Scarlett O’Hara — I’m merely following in the footsteps of other powerful women who did not have time to zip.
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