Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW © 2011 The CW Network, LLC. Photo: Rufus and Dan in Season 4, Episode 17: "Empire of the Son"

Applause to the Gossip Girl writers: Snappy lines are the main reason we tune in each week! Enjoy our picks for the 10 snarkiest quotes from Season 4, Episode 17: “Empire of the Son.”

10. Now that Jenny’s gone, Rufus is coasting as a dad
Dan: I need your advice, but I need to keep the details vague.
Rufus: Please, the vaguer the better. Keeps parenting a challenge.

9. Blair’s niceness never bodes well
Dorota: You don’t come to me with any complaints about anything. You are too happy. Content. Am worried you join cult.

8. The fighting Thorpish
Raina: There’s something you need to know about me. My dad and I? We’re Notre Dame fans.
Nate: Oh, no, you can’t be. What are you talking about?
Raina: Guess kids are out of the question.

7. Chuck gets to be the self-righteous one for once
Chuck: I guess the Archibald charm isn’t as rusty as you thought. Unlike the knife in my back.

6. Oh, grammar nerds, just shag already.
Dan: Serena, Eric, Lily — they’re going to need us now more than ever.
Blair: And not us. Dan and Blair. Two distinct entities separated by a conjunction.
Dan: Or a comma, if appearing in a list.

5. Blair doesn’t bother with excuses
Blair: Why aren’t you at MoMA meeting me?
Dan: I decided  to grab lunch with my dad. Why aren’t you at MoMA meeting me?
Blair: I’m standing you up.

4. Netflix queues are the new handkerchiefs
Dorota: Your new secrecy, calmness with Mr. Chuck, supporting Miss Serena’s new boyfriend — and last week I find Nova documentary in your Netflix queue!
Blair: What are you doing in my queue?
Dorota: You and Lonely Boy are having affair!

3. Bonding, Dair-style
Dan: All we have to do is tell everyone that we’ve been hanging out. It’s not going to be a big deal unless we keep making it a big deal.
Blair: Which it totally isn’t. We should soften the ground. Put out an anonymous post on Gossip Girl saying that some big secret is going to come out at Chuck’s party tonight. That way everyone will assume that some earth-shattering, huge scandal is imminent, like...
Dan: You getting traded for a hotel?
Blair: Or you raising Georgina’s baby by a Russian mobster.

2. Lily’s already talking like a con
Lily: Just promise me one thing. Before Thorpe leaves here tonight, tell that son of a bitch where he can stick it.

1. Blair thinks Dan thinks of nothing but Brooklyn
Dan: I’ve been walking around the city all night with one all-consuming, paralyzing thought...
Blair: Why am I walking around the city all night when I live in Brooklyn?

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