There are Gossip Girl episodes where the secrets spill out and eps where the secrets are kept. This week’s went under the latter category. But the strain of all that intrigue is making everyone behave oddly — throwing up in churches, getting beat up in alleys, having sex against a brick wall... Well, maybe that last one isn’t so unusual. Here are our top OMG moments for Episode 2, “Beauty and the Feast.”

Credit: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com Photo: Ed Westwick Gets Beat Up During a Gossip Girl Fight Scene in New York City on July 14, 2011

Blair reveals she’s pregnant...to Dan
Bea learns that Blair’s not actually bulimic. Dan’s is as sweet and supportive as ever. Anyway, the cat’s out of the bag now. So who’s the daddy? We’re guessing it’s not the royal guest star.

Beatrice. And the priest. In the limo.
We wondered why they’d bothered to cast such an absurdly handsome priest. Now we know: Prince Louis’s sister has been called by the holy spirit. In the back of a limo, no less. She and Blair have more in common than she thinks.

Charlie walks out on her life as Ivy
Which would you choose: a gorgeous, eager-to-please boyfriend who makes you cakes or a staggeringly huge fortune? Personally, we’d choose to explain to Chef Cutie about the fortune. Then we could have our clafoutis and eat it, too. But that’s just us.

Chuck beats himself up, literally
Our favorite thing about this plotline: How he finds the two WASPiest, whitest, designer-t-shirt-wearingest “thugs” in existence. No, wait! Our favorite thing is that he does it in broad daylight instead of renting out a yoga studio or something. Or! Maybe our favorite thing is the absurd soapiness of “conversion disorder.” Oh, heck, we love everything about it. Keep going, guys!

Nate has sex outside his mom’s window
Need we say more?

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Credit: YouTube Photo: Sneak Peek! Gossip Girl Season 5, Episode 3: "The Jewel of Denial" [VIDEO]