Normally we’re able to narrow the best of Bass and Co.’s snappy lines to 10... but the Gossip Girl Season 5 finale cup runneth over with the wittiest, coldest, most heart-wrenching and heart-warming lines we’ve heard all season.
So here are all of our faves from Season 5, Episode 24: “The Return of the Ring.”
13. At this point, we’d be worried for Dorota if B didn’t threaten her job once an ep
Blair [to Dorota]: Do you want to steam laundry in Liberia? Mobilize the troops!
12. That’s one way to spin insulting all of New York
Blair: That guy spent one week with Marilyn and he is still living off those royalties.
11. Note to Nate: Insulting a girl’s livelihood = not the best way to woo her
Lola: This is a lot of money... I can pay for school —
Nate: And not be an Oompa-Loompa understudy.
10. They should just name it the “van der Woodsen” shot
Serena: “Two more prenup shots, please.”
9. Ain’t that the truth!
Bart [to Chuck]: No one does a grand romantic gesture than a Bass.
Chuck [to Blair]: I spent the whole year waiting for you. I need to move forward with my life now.
Blair: [When I’m with Dan,] I feel strong and safe — except in his neighborhood
Serena [to Dan, about Blair]: She just used you to get between us because she knew that I loved you.
Bass, ladies and gentleman
Bass [to Chuck]: Bass industries needs to be run by a man, not a boy.
4. Best use of “I’m Chuck Bass” ever?
Chuck [to Blair]: I always put you first, and you bet against me every time. and now I have nothing.
Blair: You have me
Chuck: It’s not enough... I don’t want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf. I’m Chuck Bass.
Dan [to Serena]: [T]here is no us. There’s only you. And now that our parents are splitting up, I never have to see you again.
2. Especially a scorned lover from the UES!
Georgina [to Dan, about Dan]: Nothing like a scorned lover to scorch the earth.
1. Aaaand, we die.
Blair [to Chuck]: You said I always bet against you. This time, I’m all in.