Credit: The CW

Do you remember the old days, when our girl Blair (Leighton Meester) always had the best one-liners, Chuck (Ed Westwick) said smoldering things with smoldering glances, and everyone else was a supporting character to their sticking phrases? Well, “Dirty Rotten Scandals” was a lot like that. So, thank you Gossip Girl, for making us nostalgic, even while we felt a little sick to our stomachs.

We’ve always thought she’d make a great Madam... or Fuhrer
Blair: There’s nothing I like more than the sound of a sweatshop in the morning.

Wait, is Serena suddenly funny?
Serena (Blake Lively): There went your teachable moment.

Burn, baby, burn.
Sage: You’re so right, Serena. And they say you can’t be pretty and smart.

Cue Eleanor Waldorf’s traveling smize.
Blair: She can dive right from the gene pool to the cesspool... My mother is my family. My mother is always watching. Like the Mona Lisa — the Mona Lisa with expectations!

Champagne doesn’t have calories, silly.
Blair: Do I look like I’ve been eating? Don’t insult me.

Mind, meet gutter.
Ivy (Kaylee DeFer): I’m sorry i inserted myself into your battle.

You should’ve seen the colors of your collection...
Blair: And who approved those wigs? Even Nicki Minaj knows better.

We always knew she’d be the perfect wingman.
Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski): I know nobody keep you in bed like Mr. Chuck. That’s why I call him.

How can we feel so turned on and so horrified at the same time? Oh right: Chuck Bass.
Chuck: I know from my brief stint as a candy striper that IVs can be a terrible hinderance.

There’s never a hi-hat around when you need one, eh Humphrey?
Dan: Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure my father swallows.”

Or like a Fabio-covered romance novel, B.
Blair: You read me like tea leaves, Chuck Bass.

Please, Steven. Try to sound more vanilla.
Steven Spence (Barry Watson): Good. Now I’m going to contemplate your punishment while I make us all some tea. It’s been a long night.

She’s seventeen, people. Seven. Teen.
Sage: I’m not wearing my robe anymore, but my clothes can still end up in the corner.

The perfect description of a perfect OTP?
Blair: I’m all yours: Mind, body, and scheme.

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