Credit: The CW

Every once in awhile, we hear something so funny, so original, and so earth-shatteringly apropos, we can’t help but race to the nearest blogosphere and document it for eternity. Gossip Girl Season 6, Episode 4, “Portrait of a Lady Alexander” had no such moments. But, when you combine all the words that they did say in somewhat memorable instances, it’s like cuddling with warm Jello. Meaning, not altogether unpleasant. Let’s get messy.

Part Madam, part manager. We bet she takes more than 10%.
Georgina (Michelle Trachtenberg): “I’m not talking about trolling for lit groupies at Mcnally’s and sleeping with your coffee dates”

We’d say “ick” but we’re too busy wondering why a 40-plus-year-old talks about sex like a seventh grader.
Steven (Barry Watson): “Second base and beyond. Kissing doesn’t count.”

What say you about Steven and Serena?
Blair (Leighton Meester): “I’m having one of those psychic moments I have, like when I predicted Tom and Katie wouldn’t last.”

The only man left in the world who gets his feelers hurt while sleeping with a ten.
Dan (Penn Badgley): “Right, cuz you were thinking about my feelings when you made that sex tape.”

It’s a cold day in hell when Bart is the better dad.
Bart Bass: “I have no doubt you will succeed. Especially if you’ve inherited your father’s gift for numbers. He was always so... inventive.”

The only thing that can un-sexy Chuck Bass is when he tries too hard. Like this.
Chuck (Ed Westwick): “The man’s idea of father-son bonding was teaching me how to diversify bonds.”

Oh, that kind of box.
Lily (Kelly Rutherford): “I’m so proud of you for thinking outside of the box... and outside of Manhattan.”

Our thoughts exactly, oh Sage one.
Sage (seeing Serena and Steven kiss): “Okay. No. Just, no.” -Sage to Serena and Steven

That’s cute.
Lily: “I hate lying.”

Blair said pits.
Blair: “Maybe she was just swatting away mosquitos, or airing out her pits”

Get this girl a spin-off!
Sage: “Nate, this is my dad. You remember his fist, right?”

Oddly, that would not be the creepiest pairing on the show.
Sage: “Hey, I wanted you guys to get along. There’s no need for full-on bromance.”

We’ve all had “painkillers” and “skiing injuries” to blame for our sexual mistakes.
Steven: “I had gone skiing... hurt my knee... I was on painkillers... Oh, wow.”

Dies sometimes? No? Not ringing a bell?
Blair: “Bart Bass? Killed a tiger on safari? Eats veal on a regular basis?”

A well-timed Disney reference always wipes out thinly-veiled racism!
Blair: “Listen, Princess Jasmine... I’m sure every one of those horses went straight to the glue factory.”

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